Bella Ramsey is opening up about a mental health condition that led to them being unable to leave their home for “months.”
The 21-year-old star of The Last of Us, who is non-binary and goes by they/them pronouns, recalled the harrowing experience during the debut episode of The Louis Theroux Podcast’s fifth season. They explained that they have emetophobia, which the Anxiety & Depression Association of America describes as a fear of vomiting.
“People who suffer with this phobia often experience significant social and occupational impairment, going to great lengths to make sure they don’t vomit,” the ADAA notes.
Courtesy of HBO
Bella Ramsey on ‘The Last of Us’ season 2
The description is apt in Ramsey’s experience; the former Game of Thrones star described it as having “such an all-encompassing fear” that it led them to avoiding the public rather than risk an incident. “Say if I’ve been in contact with somebody who has got Norovirus, for the next two weeks it’s a thing of monitoring how I’m feeling,” they explained.
Ramsey recalled a time when they were around 13 years old and couldn’t leave their home “for months because everything outside was a threat.” They added, “You go out and it’s like, you see germs, you see sickness everywhere. Terrifying,”
The actor acknowledged that their phobia was an “irrational fear” that began at a young age.
“I remember in nursery [school], there was a kid who threw up in the sand pit and a bit went onto my red Crocs and I found it amusing,” they said. “Every memory since then that I have of vomit, it is scary. I also remember every single time anyone in my life has ever felt, felt sick or been sick. Even now, I can recall any time anyone’s felt sick or been sick in my presence.”
Although the actor noted that there was a time when they thought they’d “rather die than throw up,” it was their autism diagnosis that eventually helped them to come to terms with their phobia. Ramsey shared they now don’t suffer from emetophobia as they once did.
“Not all people who have autism or are on the autistic spectrum have emetophobia, but when I got that diagnosis, so much in my life made sense and so much of my experience growing up,” Ramsey said. “It’s helpful for me every day, having that understanding.”
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Ramsey revealed their autism diagnosis in a March British Vogue interview. They shared that they were diagnosed while filming the debut season of The Last of Us, after a crew member with an autistic daughter had assumed that Ramsey was autistic, too. It set off a journey that ended with a formal psychiatric assessment and a diagnosis.
“It enables me to walk through the world with more grace towards myself about not being able to do the easy everyday tasks that everyone else seems to be able to do,” they told the magazine.
The label has been helpful when it comes to understanding themselves, Ramsey added, “but gender and sexuality-wise, labels do not feel comfy for me in any capacity, because I feel like I’m putting myself into a box. I feel trapped.” It feels easier, however, to talk openly about the autism diagnosis because Ramsey is able to “unmask immediately” after informing someone about their condition.
“My experience of moving through the world is as an autistic person,” they said. “There’s no reason for people not to know.”
Watch Ramsey’s full conversation with Theroux above.
Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly
