NEED TO KNOW
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Woman says her mother-in-law rotates between sons’ homes for six months, staying two weeks at a time
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She describes feeling like a guest in her own home, with no privacy or boundaries during visits
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Despite sharing her concerns, her husband dismisses them, leaving her emotionally drained and desperate for change
A woman turned to the Reddit community for support after years of feeling suffocated by her mother-in-law’s extended visits.
The poster, married for seven years, shared that her husband’s mother “lives overseas and intends to move to our country permanently, and so while her visa is processing, she visits every year.”
“And by visits, I mean she stays for nearly six months, rotating between her sons’ homes every two weeks,” she writes. “This has been the routine for years.”
From the beginning, she has tried to be understanding, initially agreeing to the setup when her husband first asked if she’d be okay with it.
“I (naively) said yes,” she writes in her post, recalling how her mother-in-law seemed “pretty independent” at first, traveling alone and joining group tours, which led her to believe it wouldn’t be difficult.
After they got married, the couple “lived in a shared house” with her younger brother-in-law and mother-in-law.
However, the reality turned out to be far from what she expected. “They were both around all the time — it felt like I never had any privacy or personal space as a newlywed,” she confides.
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Stock photo of a woman frustrated with her mom
Her mother-in-law, a widow for nearly two decades, had grown used to living with others for long stretches, rarely staying in her own home, even while overseas. “She just prefers being around people – which I get, to an extent – but it’s becoming too much for me,” the woman admits.
“When she stays with us, she basically parks herself in the living room all day,” she explains, adding that her mother-in-law “never goes out, doesn’t do much on her own, and there are no boundaries.”
The poster describes that the mother-in-law’s constant presence leaves her feeling like a guest in her own home. “I can’t walk through my own house without feeling like I have to engage or at least acknowledge her presence 24/7,” she laments.
Over time, she realized that her mother-in-law is “just incredibly clingy and constantly inserts herself into everything.”
The woman’s patience was tested further by her mother-in-law’s “pointed remarks” about her family, “including one about how my dad drinks ‘a bit more than normal,’ which I found really inappropriate.”
She’s not alone in her feelings. Her sister-in-law agreed that the situation has also taken a toll on their household.
“My sister-in-law opened up to me about how much of a nightmare my MIL was when SIL had her baby – constantly interfering, stressing her out, and not respecting boundaries,” she reveals, adding that as a result, her mother-in-law now only gets “limited access” to the child.
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Stock photo of older woman watching TV
These conversations only reinforce her own sense of frustration. “My MIL thrives on meddling in other people’s lives, playing the victim, and stirring up drama so she can get sympathy,” she writes, feeling that her mother-in-law “inserts herself into other people’s homes and routines because she’s bored and wants entertainment – at our expense.”
Despite repeatedly sharing her concerns with her husband, he dismisses her frustrations. “He just doesn’t see the issue. He’s used to her being this way and thinks it’s normal to go live in people’s houses,” she says. “I feel like I’ve never had a chance to build a life with just us without her constant presence looming over everything.”
She insists that she values family and doesn’t want to be seen as the villain, but feels “suffocated when she’s here.”
“It doesn’t feel like my home anymore when she stays with us,” she writes.
Now, she’s reached a breaking point. “I’m at the point where I just don’t want her to stay with us at all,” she confesses.
Read the original article on People
