Scheana Shay got very emotional while getting candid about her recent struggle with depression.
“I have really just been feeling depressed the last six months. It was something that I kept trying to just mask and say, ‘No, I’m fine. It’ll go away,'” Shay, 40, revealed on the Friday, May 9, episode of her “Scheananigans” podcast. “But it all started around The Masked Singer.”
Shay, 40, recalled having reservations about joining the Fox competition show.
“I got asked to do the show. I immediately was like, ‘Hard pass, absolutely not.’ I didn’t care how much money they’re paying me. I was not going to go on another show on national television just to get made fun of,” she recalled. “This was something that was so far out of my comfort zone. That was so scary to go on a show that’s primetime national television.”
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Shay ultimately chose to participate as The Bat but was eliminated after singing one song: “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter. After her short stint on the show, Shay recalled her mental health taking a turn for the worse.
“I totally had a meltdown in my trailer. I’m like, ‘This is why I didn’t want to do this show. I’m not good enough. I get sent home first. Now everyone’s going to make fun of me,'” she said. “I just wanted to put myself out there.”
Shay didn’t realize at the time that she internalized her issues instead of addressing them, adding, “I just was like, ‘Maybe I up my meds a little bit.’ But then I started grinding my teeth a lot at night. So I’m like, ‘No, I’ll just go back to like 25 mg.’ As if that’s enough Zoloft for anyone. It’s not. I’ve learned that and I’m now at 75 mg and considering 100 mg.”
She continued: “In that time, I was able to talk to my psychiatrist and able to talk to my therapist. Then it’s the holidays. We’re getting into Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and then wildfires across Los Angeles.”
It was one “heavy month” after another for Shay. “It was just a few really heavy months emotionally. Then we’re in March and the show’s airing,” she explained. “Now I really need to focus on what’s been brewing and what’s going on. Because I felt like getting sent home first was part of it — but it couldn’t be all of it.”
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Shay came to realize that the changes going on in her life — including her exit from Vanderpump Rules — affected her more than she realized.
“As excited as I am for this new chapter of my life — I got to film The Valley and be with all of my friends this past summer — it filled the void of not filming a season 12,” she said. “But then the show getting rebooted. It’s like, that’s a huge chapter of my life that now is just done. As happy as I was for honestly that chapter to be done, I’m like, ‘Wow, that’s been a huge part of my identity that now is just done.’ A combination of these things just led to me kind of going into a depression.”
The reality star’s decision to speak out was motivated by setting an example for others, adding, “Everything is great but mentally it hasn’t been. I just wanted to open up about that because I feel like you could have everything in the world and still not always feel completely happy. I just wanted to normalize it.”
