One year ago, Jennifer Lopez’s relationship with Ben Affleck was coming to an end. The star filed for divorce in August and listed their separation date as April 26, 2024. Those summer months marked the beginning of a new chapter in her life: one focused on healing that fundamentally changed her and her family. The star spoke to El País about the steps she took to come out stronger, along with how she told her 17-year-old twins, Emme and Max, that she and Affleck were separating.
“I said, ‘I promise you, this is a difficult time, but you’re going to see that I’ll come out the other side stronger and better,’” Lopez recalled. “I promised them that, and I did it. And they feel it now. That gives me a great sense of peace in my life. I’m happier that I’m a step further along than I was a year ago, two years ago, three years ago….I’m proud of myself for that, and I’m proud that I was able to navigate my children through difficult times, that they’re stronger and better because of it.”
“Everybody goes through hard times in their life. And it’s what you do in those moments that really does define you,” she stressed. “Not the relationship, not the man: What defines you is what you’re doing with the experiences that you’re faced with. I take those experiences—whether they’re good or bad—and I bind them.”
Lopez put a lot of work into unpacking what happened: “Over the past year, I really dug deep into what are the patterns that I’ve had and why they happen and what is it about me that’s creating these patterns. And, when I did that, I just learned so much about myself that I had never really stopped to look at, because you’re on this this kind of roller-coaster, this ride of life, this carousel, you’re going round and round…and you don’t stop and go, ‘Wait, what’s happening? What’s going on here?’ Not with anybody else—with me. And, when you do that, you’re able to be more self-aware. And that self-awareness is a very empowering thing.”
Lopez’s goal was to “really solidify the family unit that is me and my two children, my twins.” And she took active steps to do so, including praying, meditating, and educating herself. “I read a lot of books on childhood, marriage, relationships, different styles of love, the brain, science,” she said.
Therapy also played a huge role: “Over the years, I’ve done individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy. I’ve had everything, I’m always kind of searching. I think it’s all about learning about yourself. It’s all about knowing yourself. You have to be ready for that. And you have to want it. And, even when you want it, it’s hard to change certain things. But you can.”
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