Benny Blanco knows what it takes to be an attentive fiancé. This is made no clearer than in the handful of interviews Blanco, a Grammy-nominated music producer and songwriter, has given about his healthy relationship with fiancée Selena Gomez. He’s beloved by much of Gomez’s fandom and has often been described as “the standard” and a “walking green flag.” Blanco has even received the stamp of approval from Gomez’s superstar bestie, Taylor Swift.
In a story published by Elle on Friday — the same day Blanco and Gomez released the deluxe version of their joint album, I Said I Love You First… And You Said It Back — the 37-year-old music producer opened up about how he navigates arguments and misunderstandings with the Only Murders in the Building star.
“I think what you do is, you say, ‘I’m sorry,’” he said. “Even if you’re just a little wrong. Just say you’re sorry.”
Gomez has also helped Blanco reach another conclusion: Women are better than men at virtually everything.
“Men are dumber. Men have less patience. I’m amazed every, every, every, every time I get to be in the same room as Selena,” Blanco said. “I’m amazed at how she carries herself and all the things she does — the multitasking. Everything.”
Blanco and Gomez first confirmed their romance in late 2023 and announced their engagement in December 2024. They previously collaborated on Gomez’s tracks “Same Old Love” and “Kill Em With Kindness” for her 2015 album Revival before ever becoming romantically involved.
Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco signing ‘Revival.’ pic.twitter.com/nxRhKFXe9n
— Selena Gomez News (@SELENAT0RSARMY) March 22, 2025
The “Bluest Flame” producer has a history of sharing sage dating wisdom since getting together with Gomez. Blanco’s thoughtful advice has continued making its rounds on the internet, garnering praise along the way.
While on Jay Shetty’s podcast, On Purpose with Jay Shetty, in March, Blanco spoke of how he makes an active effort to give Gomez what she needs to feel secure in their relationship.
“I’m aware of her strengths, and I’m aware of her weaknesses. And what I try to do is surround her with a lot of things to help her,” Blanco told Shetty. “So if she’s away, and I have to go to a dinner, then a party, then this thing, then that thing, it’s a simple text in between each thing that says, ‘Hey, babe, I’m going to this next thing. I’m thinking of you.’”
Acknowledging the animosity that can fester if couples don’t properly communicate or choose to wait long periods to text one another, Blanco makes an active effort to not do those things.
“So I’m gonna help her succeed,” he said. “I’m not gonna be a d***. I’m not not gonna hit her up. And she doesn’t need a lot. She’s like the easiest person in the world.”
Gomez, who was with Blanco on Shetty’s podcast, said of her fiancé, “I know just hearing from him one time, check in with me and say, ‘I love you, and I hope the day is going well,’ I just feel safe. And I’ve never felt that before.”
Failing to listen to your partner, added Blanco, is a common issue for men, especially.
“A woman is going to tell you exactly what she needs. One guy is like, ‘I don’t know what she wants.’ She told you already. You’re just an idiot. You’re not listening. Just listen. If a girl is getting frustrated with you on something, she’s definitely told you multiple times, and you’re just not paying attention. So it’s like, just listen, and don’t be reactionary. Proactively do these things,” he said.
Blanco reiterated this sentiment earlier that month, telling the Today Show, “My No. 1 rule for men is listen on the first date. Stop trying to just show off. Listen to what they have to say.”
During an interview with People in November 2024, Blanco emphasized the importance of cooking for your partner — even if it isn’t exactly your strong suit.
“Just cook anything. Even if you’re terrible at cooking, they’re gonna like it because you did it,” he said. “Ask your partner what they want to eat. Don’t try to, like, cook them what you want to eat — ask them what they want to eat. If you don’t know how to cook it, learn it.”
Blanco often cooks meals for Gomez, bringing to life her favorite dishes. The “Teenage Dream” producer prepares and then freezes food that he can easily deep fry or warm up for the pop star when she’s craving it.
“I know the hits with Selena, so I’m going to cook her exactly what she wants. She’s not gonna want, like, sea urchin. She’s a steak dinner type of girl. She wants mashed potatoes, some creamed spinach,” he said. “I have a whole menu of things she likes, so whenever she’s hungry, I have them in my back pocket.”
The acclaimed music producer, who’s worked with artists like Rihanna, Britney Spears, Lana Del Rey and Gomez’s ex-boyfriend, Justin Bieber, credits his relationship with his mother for why he treats Gomez, and people in general, the way he does.
“She always says, ‘Treat people the way you want to be treated,’” Blanco told Elle of his mother. “You should treat the best NBA player in the world the same way you treat the person valeting cars. You’re not supposed to prioritize people based on what they do.”
