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A woman says she “deeply offended’ her mother-in-law when she asked her about her personal finances
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The woman, who shared her story on Reddit, explains that she and her husband are considering purchasing an investment property that would “use up almost all of our savings” and they merely wanted to ensure that her mother-in-law did not foresee needing financial assistance
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Reddit users were divided over whether or not the woman crossed a line with her questions
A woman says she “deeply offended” her mother-in-law by asking about her finances, but she’s not so sure she actually did anything wrong.
The woman detailed her story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?,” a place where Reddit users can go to seek advice about interpersonal issues. In her post, the woman shares that she and her husband are currently considering purchasing an investment property that would “use up almost all of our savings.”
However, the Redditor says that before committing to the investment, they thought it would be “a good idea to check in with our parents” — whom she says are all retired and in their 70s — “to see if they [foresee] any need for financial assistance from us.”
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Couple signing forms (stock image)
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The woman goes on to explain that “about half my friends help support their parents,” so helping to support their own parents didn’t seem outside the realm of possibility. She also said that they would definitely want to be in a position to help their parents if needed, and so checking in with them about their finances seemed like “the responsible thing to do” before potentially making a large purchase.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) goes on to say that things did not go over well when she and her husband asked her mother-in-law if they could discuss it.
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“I explained that we were not asking for details of her finances, but only if she could [foresee] any need for financial help in the future,” the OP explains. “She said ‘No. I’ve always considered my money over here, your money over there, and never the two shall meet.’ “
“She was obviously angry by the tone of her response,” the OP added.
She continues: “I tried to lighten the mood and end the already uncomfortable conversation by saying ‘Ok; I just hope that if there’s ever an emergency, you know you could come to us, like I hope we could come to you. ‘ “
But this only seemed to make things worse.
“The look on her face told me that we were NOT welcome to come to her in an emergency,” the woman added before concluding her post with, “So… AITA [am I the a——] here?”
In a follow-up to her original post, the OP explains that she and her mother-in-law have always had a “good relationship,” adding, “My MIL [mother-in-law] was a single mother who raised 2 kids alone. She often worked 2 jobs just to support her family. So we have no idea what her financial situation is.”
Related: Woman Says Her Parents Are Having ‘Sleepless Nights’ Over Money but Won’t Ask Her Other Siblings for Cash
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Woman reviewing documents (stock image)
Responses were mixed among Reddit users. Some people firmly sided with the OP’s mother-in-law, telling the OP that she had crossed a line.
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“YTA [you’re the a——],” said one person. “Yeah this was rude. I sort of get that your intentions were kind but you implied she might need your help and then you presumed that you’d be entitled to her money if you f—– up.“
“YTA,” added someone else. “Step one your spouse should be doing the asking not you. Not very tactful or sensitive in the way it was done.”
However, others sided with the OP in the scenario.
“NTA [not the a——]. You are trying to be responsible, and knowing if she will need financial support is being caring. I personally think it should have come from your husband, but after 20 years, you’d think it wouldn’t matter,” one person said.
Another person said: “NAH [no a—— here] – it is an odd conversation to bring up if you’ve never had that type of relationship with MIL. I think she’s justified to be offended but I can see your side too.”
Read the original article on People
