A woman shared on Reddit that her best friend is having a destination wedding but she can’t attend because it’s “too expensive”
Her bride-to-be friend got mad when she found out the Redditor was instead saving up for some “mini vacations” with her husband
The bride-to-be accused the Redditor of not prioritizing their friendship — or her wedding
A woman says her best friend, a bride-to-be, has accused her of having the wrong priorities because she has declined to attend her destination wedding due to cost — and instead is planning some “mini vacations” with her husband.
The woman detailed her dilemma in a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, beginning by explaining that traveling to her friend’s wedding would cost almost $6,000 for both her and her husband and require them to arrange childcare for their two kids while they are away for a week.
The OP (original poster) said the wedding just isn’t in her budget right now.
Related: Most of Groom’s Family RSVPs ‘No’ to His Destination Wedding, Now the Bride Feels Guilty
“I told [my friend] I can’t afford it because we just remortgaged and did $50K worth of repairs on our house and I wasn’t expecting the trip to be SO expensive (my sister’s destination wedding was about $1,200 a person),” she wrote.
Then, the OP’s friend happened to ask her what she was up to for the weekend and got upset when she told her she was traveling to a comic convention with her husband. The bride-to-be proceeded to send the OP a long message, complaining that her other friends have all agreed to attend the wedding and arguing that she gave the OP “ample time to save up.”
d3sign/Getty
Woman with suitcase at airport (stock image)
In her post, the OP explained that she is instead saving up for some small vacations with her husband. She also shared that, knowing she couldn’t afford her friend’s wedding, she stepped up and planned the bride’s engagement party to show her support. “I also couldn’t afford to go to the bachelorette party because it was $1,200 [for the] weekend,” she noted.
Now, the OP feels “horrible” about the situation and is asking fellow Redditors for feedback. “AITA [am I the a——] for not going to my [best friend’s] wedding and for going on trips [instead]?” she asked.
Later, in an update to her post, the OP added that the bride said her decision to not attend the wedding “basically demonstrates my priorities to our relationship.” She also shared that there is now “a strain” between the pair.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Getty
Upset bride (stock image)
Related: Woman Refuses to Be in Best Friend’s Wedding After Receiving Spreadsheet with $1,000 Worth of Bridesmaid Expenses
In the comments section, many readers agreed that the OP should not feel bad that she can’t afford to go to the destination wedding, while noting that her “mini vacations” likely won’t cost even remotely as much as the $6,000 she would have to shell out for the wedding.
“You aren’t obligated to prove your lack of funds to justify your inability to attend, and I highly doubt that skipping your mini vacations would come anywhere close to paying for the event anyway,” one person wrote.
The same commenter also pointed out: “Anyone who chooses an expensive wedding option has to expect that it will be out of reach for some of the people they would want to be there. Unless the couple is prepared to offer financial assistance, they are obligated to graciously accept it when people decline due to lack of funds.”
Yet another reader agreed, writing, “Destination weddings place an unnecessary financial burden on the guests while the happy couple gets a significantly subsidized wedding and honeymoon. Your friend should check her privilege. And you should stop feeling bad about not going.”
Read the original article on People
