NEED TO KNOW
Taking to Reddit, a new mom wanted to know if she overreacted by canceling lunch with her mother after she joked about her postpartum body
The woman said that her mom called her “dramatic” and claimed that the comment was meant to “motivate” her
Fellow Redditors had a lot of thoughts about the joke and the mom
A new mom wants to know if she did the right thing after her mom made a cruel comment about her body.
Taking to Reddit’s “Am I Overreacting” forum, the 30-year-old woman explained that she welcomed a baby boy three months ago. She noted that motherhood has been an “adjustment,” and she’s “been really self-conscious about [her] body.”
“Yesterday my mom came over to drop something off. I was wearing leggings and a tank top when she looked me up and down and said: ‘Well… at least you still sort of have a waistline. Not for long if you keep snacking though!'” she recalled.
All she could do was stare, but then her mom “laughed and said, ‘Oh relax, I’m kidding!’ “
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Stock image of a frustrated woman
In the aftermath, she texted her mom and canceled their upcoming lunch plans because she “wasn’t feeling up to it.” However, her mom brushed off her feelings as being “dramatic.”
The mother insisted she was “just trying to motivate” her daughter.
“Now she’s telling my aunts that I ‘canceled over nothing,'” the woman writes, asking if her mom’s joke was “really inappropriate” or if she was overreacting.
Fellow Redditors rushed to assure the new mom that she was in the right.
“I’m a mom to a daughter, and I just want to tell you that you aren’t overreacting. This is some mean girl s— right here- cruel insults that are lazily justified because they’re ‘jokes.’ They aren’t jokes. It isn’t funny. She even admitted that what she said wasn’t a joke when she said she was trying to ‘motivate’ you. Which is it, Mean Girl Mom??” one user wrote, reminding the woman that her “body took nine months to build a baby, and it will take at least nine months to heal from building that baby.”
Another noted that the woman took a necessary step in her relationship with her mom, writing, “What you’ve done is express a boundary that it’s not ok to talk about your body like that. Some might think it’s OR but I suspect that for your mum to get the message, she might need this type of reaction.”
“Your mom’s job after you have a baby is to support you, advise you when asked and to help you find your confidence as a new mom. Your mother has failed at her only job at this point in your life. She wasn’t joking and you’re right to be hurt and angry,” someone else said.
While one user had conflicted thoughts about the situation, their opinion changed after hearing the mom’s reasoning. Now, they replied, “She’s being a jerk.”
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Stock image of a woman’s stomach and a baby’s foot
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“I struggle with the same thing with my mom – always a comment on how I look and I’ve told her if she can’t help herself then her time around my child will be limited as he gets older because I want my son to be kind and accepting. Part of that is knowing it’s not ok to comment on the way people look,” one person sympathized.
Dubbing the mom a “mean girl,” yet another Redditor had some advice on how to handle the situation in the future: “Every time she insults you, say ‘That’s mean and unacceptable. Please leave now.’ Keep repeating it until she leaves. If you are out with her, ‘That was mean and unacceptable. I’m leaving.’ “
“Do this every single time,” they urged. “This will train her to keep unkind thoughts to herself…assuming she wants to spend time with you and her grandchild.”
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