Why Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco Are Actually The Perfect Couple

Singer Selena Gomez and producer Benny Blanco raised eyebrows when they first got together, especially since they kept their relationship so private.

However, their new album, “I Said I Love You First,” which was released on Friday, March 21, gives fans new insight into their private lives a few months after they became engaged.

Following her rollercoaster relationship with pop star Justin Bieber, Gomez was single for a few years in order to work on herself. During a March 24 appearance on “On Purpose with Jay Shetty,” Gomez admitted that she had “sincere doubt” at the start of their relationship.

“I’d say at the beginning there were a few almost-sabotages,” Blanco admitted. “At the very beginning, in her first few trips away, she was still gaining that trust.” However, their relationship became stronger when he realized “when you start dating someone, you’re not only dating them, you’re also dating every single person they’ve ever dated.”

“You’re getting every piece of baggage that person’s had. With partners, parents, this that. I had to find a way to build that trust with her, not being overbearing but make it feel real and make her actually believe it and vice versa,” he added.

Even though they didn’t use the term “love language,” in their interview, Blanco explained that he quickly learned that Gomez just needs a “simple text,” saying, “I’m going to this thing and thinking about you” when they’re apart.

“‘I’ll talk to you through anything you may have,'” he recalls telling her. “I’m aware of her strengths and I’m aware of her weaknesses and so what I’ve tried to do is surround her with things that help.”

“She doesn’t need a lot, she’s like the easiest person in the world, but I know she wants to talk to me before bed, wants me to say ‘I love you’ and text if I end up having to stay somewhere two hours late,” he continued. “I know that stuff really helps especially when you’re long distance.”

During the same podcast episode, Gomez admitted that she had been “reactive” in past relationships and hasn’t always been the best at conflict resolution.

“I’ve been guilty, though, to start. I think for me, I necessarily felt like in other situations of mine I was very reactive. I think that’s why I was alone for five years because I really needed to collect myself,” Gomez said.

However, taking time for herself has helped her realize what she’s looking for in a relationship. “I think in the past, that’s why I said to him all the time 10 years ago it’s not that I wouldn’t have wanted to be with you, I just wouldn’t have been in the right headspace, and I don’t think you deserved what I had gone through before,” she said.

“I’ve learned a lot of lessons and I’ve made mistakes and I just want this to be right,” she continued. “So for me, that was a lesson that I had to learn.”

While Gomez was working on herself, Blanco was working with his therapist in order to create “all the things I want” in an ideal partner.

“I was like okay — it’s time to be a grown up, I want to start a life, I want to have a family, I want to find a person that is like my other half that makes me feel better, and I make them feel better. It’s a give and take, the perfect yin and yang, so I wrote down a list,” he explained.

The first thing that was important to him was finding someone his age, which meant over 30. “The second thing I wrote was — I know this is so simple but so hard to come by — somebody who is kind, compassionate and caring,” he said. “I was like, ‘That’s really three-in-one, but I need someone who is nice. A genuine nice person.'”

However, Gomez didn’t have a list. “I think for me I was genuinely set when I let go of just saying, ‘I want someone and I wish I had this, I wish I had that.’ Instead, I changed my mind to, ‘I’m so lucky, I get to wake up and my family is healthy and I love spending time with my friends and if it doesn’t happen, I know I’ve always wanted to be a mom,'” she explained.

“When Benny looks at me I don’t think he sees anything but [what] I am and that’s very rare to find,” she continued. “He knows when I’m feeling a certain way and before I could even let it get to a place where it’s unbearable, he has already talked me through a spiral.”

She references the “when you know, you know” adage, adding, “When you do know, it feels right.” She concluded, “I think that’s what happened to me.”

It may just be a few snippets of dialogue exchanged during an interview, but it’s clear that the couple has not rushed into this relationship. Gomez has clearly taken the time to reflect on mistakes that she’s made in her past high-profile relationships and is determined not to repeat them this time around.

Blanco, meanwhile, has had nothing but positive things to say about his fiancée and the struggles that she has overcome, which include anxiety and depression stemming from her lupus diagnosis. Despite how one may feel about their music, it’s clear that they have both matured over the years and are clearly ready to put in the work to make their marriage last.

In a world of celebrity couples that don’t seem to last, their maturity is refreshing to see and serves as a much-needed compass for young couples everywhere while trying to navigate the roadmap of love.