Earning more money gives you more options for enhancing your lifestyle, but does all of that extra money cause people to feel jealous? That was a recent debate in the HENRY Finance subreddit, where someone said that their friends have kept their distance after the couple moved into a bigger house last year.
“I’ve noticed [over] the past few years that our friends don’t ask to hang out anymore,’ the original poster said. “I’m always the one initiating hangouts and often just inviting them over to our house. When I invite [them] to our house, they accept, but when I propose meeting for lunch or dinner, they say no.”
Fellow high earners shared their thoughts on why this situation was taking place. Some said that money played a role, while others were critical of the original poster.
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Money May Not Be The Problem
The top comment opened a can of worms as a Redditor suggested that money isn’t the reason why friends are avoiding the original poster. Someone replied to the top comment with a more blunt take.
“Yeah. They just don’t like you that much,” a Redditor stated.
This point was heavily debated, as one commenter pointed out that these friends still go to the original poster’s house when invited. Many Redditors were critical of the original poster, claiming it’s his high income that is driving some friends away, and mentioned that there isn’t enough information to make that distinction.
However, we don’t know how close the bigger house is to the original poster’s former house. If the house is an hour away from the original poster’s original neighborhood, it’s easy to see how a proximity issue can be in play. Others mentioned that friends tend to drift apart as they get older.
“A lot of people drift apart in their 30s as they start to get married and have kids,” one Redditor stated.
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Jealousy May Be Another Driving Force
Although many of the top comments mentioned that the original poster may not be a likable person, others brought up jealousy as a reason for the change. The original poster doesn’t flaunt their wealth with designer bags or clothing, but a nicer car and a bigger house may be enough to tell people that the couple is doing well financially.
“If you start to move up in some way that your friends aren’t, then it’s very common for people to feel jealous or bad about their own situation in comparison,” one Redditor suggested. “People will rarely admit to those feelings; they just limit time with the other person instead or do the slow fade.”
The original poster can’t do much if jealousy is the driving force, and we don’t have enough information to gauge if jealousy is playing a role. One Redditor suggested asking friends why they have drifted apart, while another Redditor said it’s better to “move on and expand your horizons.”
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Expensive Venues May Be Dealbreakers
The original poster mentioned that he would invite his friends for dinner and they wouldn’t commit to it. While most of the top comments assumed the original poster was the problem or the friends were jealous, one commenter mentioned another reason.
“When you ask your friends out to lunch, do you take a look at the menu prices first? Probably not, because you don’t have to,” the commenter said. “But they have to. Honestly, they probably can’t afford to eat out at all in this economy, which is why they say no. And it sucks for them to constantly be reminded that they can’t afford to eat out, but you can. [By the way,] they go to your house when you invite them over because it’s free.”
Someone responded by suggesting that the original poster meet up with their friends through free or low-cost activities. A walk in a nearby park, running basic errands with them, taking fitness classes, and watching movies are free or low-cost ways to meet. Suggesting these options can gauge if your friends want to hang out but don’t want to blow through cash, or if they are trying to avoid the original poster.
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