If there was ever a good way to get dumped, it probably isn’t at the altar on your wedding day. That’s what we’d all assume, at least. There could be nothing worse, surely, than inviting all your friends and family to a celebration that has emptied your pockets only to be left standing alone in an overpriced gown, wondering if your beloved is ever going to appear, and finding out that they are not.
Well, it happened to Kayley Stead, a Welsh woman who has gone viral on TikTok after sharing the speech she gave when she was jilted on her big day in 2022. It turned out to be one of the best things that had ever happened to her, she said. Rather than cancelling the wedding, Stead decided to go ahead, turning the event into a celebration of herself. She even delivered an off-the-cuff speech about self-love. Marking the moment with a commemorative TikTok that has had more than 7.6 million views, Stead shared a series of clips that featured her cutting into her three-tier wedding cake, dancing with friends, and enjoying herself despite the unlikely circumstances.
“I had to look back on this day for this butterfly effect trend,” she wrote in the caption, referring to the concept that unexpected changes and circumstances can lead to major life transformations – something that’s become a big summer trend on TikTok.
“This day will forever be a part of me, not because I was left on my wedding day, but for the fact that I persevered and created a memory with so many loved ones,” she added. “A day that will continue shaping me for the rest of my life.”
Who knew that getting dumped on your wedding day could be so wonderful? Frankly, there is no good way for someone to end a relationship with you. But doing it in a setting where you’re already surrounded by friends and family, with all the pomp and pageantry required to have a commiseration-slash-celebration afterwards, does make some sense.
I’m not saying I’d like to be dumped that way, though there have been some instances where it might’ve been preferable. Or at least a little more inventive. Like the time when my first boyfriend decided to dump me via voicemail. I was 13, and our relationship had thus far amounted to a few snogs and some hand-holding. But still: it stung. There was also the time a guy I was seeing decided to end things with me at the World’s End pub (how apt!) in Camden, after asking me what I liked about our relationship and letting me rave about him for 40 minutes before admitting he wasn’t happy.
Sometimes, the best way to be dumped is when it’s quick and dirty, like ripping off a plaster. That was the case for a friend, whose boyfriend ended their relationship out of the blue midway through a conversation about attending his sister’s upcoming wedding. They’d talked about what dress she’d wear and whether it was appropriate. He helped her choose a dress and then told her their relationship was over, proceeding to pack his belongings into the empty rucksack he’d brought with him. It was sudden and, at the time, horrific. But in retrospect, the brutality of it helped her to move on quickly.
Another friend was dumped with such flair that he considers it one of the most incredible things ever to have happened to him. “It was 1998, and I was in the throes of first love,” he recalled to me via text. “Having started our relationship on the Eurostar on the way to Paris (for a school trip), we went out for four months, two of which she spent in her native Italy. During her time away, she’d send letters signing off ‘ti amo’. Then one day a letter arrived, out of the blue, suggesting we go our separate ways. No ‘ti amo’, just an ‘arrivederci’.”
Ultimately, being told a relationship is over is always going to hurt. And sometimes it will seem as if the ground has just been pulled from underneath you, and all the joy has drained from your life. But as far as picking your poison goes, would you rather get dumped over a three-hour conversation in a dingy pub? Or with all of your loved ones nearby, waiting to scoop you up and show you how much better off you are without the person who’s broken your heart? I know which one I’d pick.
