Beloved actress Valerie Bertinelli recently opened up on The Drew Barrymore Show about her lifelong battle with body image, sharing a powerful lesson about self-acceptance that resonates deeply with fans and serves as a culmination of her decades-long journey through Hollywood’s relentless pressures.
For decades, Valerie Bertinelli has captured hearts with her talent on shows like Hot in Cleveland and One Day at a Time, and charmed audiences with her culinary skills on Valerie’s Home Cooking. Beyond the spotlight, however, the star has navigated a deeply personal and often challenging journey with her body image, a struggle she has consistently shared with remarkable candor. Her recent appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show offered a poignant reflection on this path, highlighting a pivotal moment of self-discovery that resonates with many.
During the show, Bertinelli recounted a powerful anecdote about choosing a white strapless gown for an event, a style she initially avoided due to deeply ingrained insecurities. She recalled telling the designer, “Just don’t show me anything white, because it makes me look fat, and I don’t want to show my arms or my shoulders because I don’t like them.” Yet, upon trying on a white gown, she felt “like a mermaid,” realizing the profound impact of internalizing societal beauty standards. This experience led her to a vital conclusion: “Our bodies are our bodies. Our bodies are beautiful. Just put it in everything and anything you want to put it in!” as reported by Entertainment Weekly.
The Early Roots of Body Image Struggles
Valerie Bertinelli’s complicated relationship with her body started long before her Hollywood career. In her 2022 memoir, Enough Already, she revealed formative childhood experiences that shaped her self-perception. She witnessed her father criticize her mother’s weight gain and, jarringly, had a fifth-grade teacher poke her belly, cautioning her to “keep an eye on that.” These moments instilled a harmful belief: “I learned at a very young age that when you gain weight, you’re not lovable. And what I’m learning is that your body is not what makes you lovable,” she shared, according to People.
As her acting career took off, these insecurities only intensified. While working on One Day at a Time, she found herself constantly comparing her “hourglass figure” to co-stars like Mackenzie Phillips, who she perceived as “bubbly upbeat all-American.” Later, on the set of Hot in Cleveland, she felt similar pressures comparing herself to the “tall, skinny, beautiful, and gorgeous” Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick, further fueling her “insecurities,” as detailed in her memoir.
The Jenny Craig Era and Public Scrutiny
In 2007, Bertinelli embarked on a highly public weight-loss journey, partnering with Jenny Craig. Over a year, she successfully lost 40 pounds, famously posing in a green bikini for the cover of People magazine in 2009. This period brought immense public attention and, for a time, a sense of accomplishment.
However, Bertinelli later reflected on the bikini cover with mixed emotions. Speaking to People in 2020, she admitted, “There’s a lot of pride and a lot of shame associated with that cover. I worked really, really, really hard. Physically definitely. I wish to God I had worked just as hard on my mental shape.” This realization underscored a crucial lesson: physical changes alone couldn’t resolve deeper emotional struggles, which she often masked or “ate through.”
Emotional Eating and Personal Turmoil
Throughout her life, Bertinelli candidly admitted that food often served as an emotional crutch. Her divorce from rock icon Eddie Van Halen, though amicable in its later stages, was a particularly challenging time. She revealed in her 2008 memoir, Losing It, that she struggled with substance abuse and infidelity during their marriage. When she regained weight around their separation, many speculated the divorce was the cause. However, she clarified on Today that her deeper sorrow stemmed from feeling she “wasn’t giving my son the life I thought he deserved and I wasn’t keeping the family intact.” She explained, “I had a lot of grief about that and that was how I soothed myself.”
The profound grief following Eddie Van Halen’s death in 2020 further tested her resilience. Despite their divorce, she considered him a soulmate and openly mourned his loss, even facing “grief shame” from some. Simultaneously, she navigated the end of her second marriage to Tom Vitale, which culminated in her declaring November 22, 2022, the “second best day of my life” as her divorce was finalized, a moment she shared joyously on Twitter.
Finding a New Path: Self-Acceptance and Empowerment
In recent years, Valerie Bertinelli has shifted her focus from weight loss to radical self-acceptance and mental well-being. She has become a vocal advocate against body shaming, directly confronting internet trolls who criticize her appearance. In powerful Instagram videos, she reminds her followers that judgmental comments often reflect the commenter’s own issues and that a person’s worth is not tied to their size. “Your worth as a human being isn’t dictated by your body,” she shared in one video, emphasizing that “health is not a body size.”
Her memoir, Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today, further details her journey towards healing her relationship with food and herself. She now prioritizes listening to her body, choosing foods that make her “feel good mentally” and addressing her emotions rather than suppressing them with food or alcohol. This holistic approach, as she discussed with Eating Well, acknowledges the deep connection between mental and physical health.
Bertinelli has also shared her nuanced perspective on trending weight-loss solutions, including drugs like Ozempic. While not personally interested in quick fixes, she expresses acceptance for those who find them helpful, emphasizing the critical importance of “emotional and mental work.” She believes that true, sustainable change comes from within, not just from the scale. As she stated on Today, “Unless you do the emotional and mental work, weight is not going to stay off.”
A Message of Empowerment for All
Valerie Bertinelli’s enduring transparency about her body image struggles, from childhood insecurities to the pressures of Hollywood and personal heartbreaks, offers a powerful message: “My body is not what makes me lovable. It’s my heart and my mind, and how I treat you, and am I leading with kindness?” This philosophy, shared on The Drew Barrymore Show, underscores her transformation from seeking external validation to embracing internal worth.
Her journey is a testament to resilience and the ongoing process of self-love, reminding fans that everyone, regardless of their public profile, faces similar battles. By openly sharing her experiences, Bertinelli provides not just insight, but also an inspiring call to compassion, both for ourselves and for others.
