While online dating apps makes searching for love more convenient, finding that special person is as difficult as ever. A cute photo and simple “hello” may not be enough to help you break through the noise, which is why many of those feeling stuck on what to say are turning to artificial intelligence for assistance.
According to a study on singles in America released last month by dating app Match.com and The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, 1 in 4 singles — and nearly half of Gen Z — use AI to up their dating game. That’s a 333% increase from a year ago.
“People are turning to AI for literally any use case you could imagine,” said Kasley Killam, a social health and human connection expert. “And so it’s inevitable that people are going to turn to AI for dating coaching.”
Capitalizing on the trend are AI dating assistants, which coach people on what to say, what tone to strike and how to keep the conversation flowing if it hits a lull. For individuals who feel writing isn’t their strong suit, the technology can be a real confidence booster.
Advice on what to say
Roman Khaves, founder of a dating assistant app called Rizz — which is Gen Z-speak for “charisma” — said the service provides around-the-clock, objective advice for people who can’t afford a human dating coach or are unable to reach their friends in a pinch.
“It’ll never sleep on you,” Khaves told CBS MoneyWatch, describing the app as an “AI wingwoman or AI wingman in your pocket.”
Rizz works by letting users upload screenshots of their conversations from dating apps or social media. Rizz then suggests a reply using generative AI. The more you use Rizz, the more it understands what type of replies you tend to like or feel comfortable with. That trains the AI model to improve over time.
Rizz has a user base of roughly 10 million, according to Khaves, and is composed of 65% men and 35% women, largely within the 18-to-25 age range.
Another service, called Keepler, a dating-optimization app, has a feature that helps people navigate the dreaded practice known as “ghosting,” or when someone abruptly cuts off communication with someone without providing any explanation.
One reason people ghost others is that they don’t know the best way to let someone down easy, Keepler co-founder and CEO Rachel Abramowitz, told CBS MoneyWatch. Keepler’s defense against ghosting is Keri, the app’s in-house relationship guide.
“What we’ve built is a way to put in your raw, unedited feedback to Keri. Keri will rewrite it for you, and then you can send it to somebody,” Abramowitz said.
For those who have been ghosted, Keepler also allows users to request feedback from their vanishing date directly through the app, or have Keri help them write a message to send on their own.
Abramowitz emphasizes that the app isn’t aimed at providing therapy, but rather is there to offer support. With Keri, “It really does feel like you have someone who is objective, who is on your side, who has no ulterior motives and really wants you to help reach your goals,” she said.
Last-gen dating apps are also getting into the AI game. Hinge and Grindr, two of the most popular dating apps, are taking steps to integrate AI into their platforms. In January, for example, Hinge introduced Prompt Feedback, an AI feature that provides users with immediate feedback on their profiles as they enter information.
AI icebreaker
The growing popularity of AI dating assistants gives rise to questions over authenticity as more users rely on the technology to convey their thoughts and feelings.
One 36-year old Rizz user, who asked to remain anonymous to protect his privacy, told CBS MoneyWatch he could see why some people might find using AI to communicate disingenuous, but said he sees the tech simply as a way to stand out from the crowd.
He also acknowledged that some of his dates appeared skeptical after he revealed to them that he was getting behind-the-scenes coaching from Rizz. But he still thinks the service is helpful as a conversation starter.
“For me personally, it’s good for just initiating conversation, getting someone’s attention, and then being able to just be myself after that,” he said.
Killam, the social health and human connection expert, said she thinks AI dating tools can be useful as long as people don’t misrepresent who they are or lean on them too much.
“The risk is when we use AI as a substitute for human connection, rather than a supplement to it,” she said.
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