Since Oh, Mary! opened on Broadway last July—following a twice-extended run off-Broadway—Cole Escola has graduated from fringe notoriety to comedian legend. They wrote and star in the play about a miserable Mary Todd Lincoln and her alcohol-fueled shenanigans in the weeks leading up to the assassination of her husband, President Abraham Lincoln. Along the way, Oh, Mary! has broken box office records, consistently played to 100 percent capacity, and—as of this morning—garnered five Tony Award nominations.
We asked the future EGOT winner the most-hard-hitting questions we could think of—and they indulged us with handwritten answers and doodles. It turns out Cole may have a future career at Cosmo, makes questionable choices on Seamless, and is really into Uber.
Hometown:
Clatskanie, OR
Age:
64 (that’s not my age but it’s certainly an age).
Sun/Moon/Rising signs:
Current celebrity crush:
Conrad Birdie.
My most-used emojis are:
Knife.
The person I would get most starstruck by is:
Dead.
A pickup line that’s worked for me is:
A pickup line that’s worked on me:
I’m gonna need you to leave, sweetheart, we’ve gotten way too many complaints.
The last time I cried was:
My phone background is:
Something I’m not proud of.
My all-time favorite concert was:
Liza in New Orleans, 1980.
Relationship status:
NEVER AGAIN!
Most money I’ve spent on a date:
That’s private.
Favorite dating app:
Uber.
Relationship advice:
Take it slow. Go one finger at a time if you have to.
If I could put anyone on the cover of Cosmo, I’d put:
A reality competition I’d absolutely win:
90 Day Fiancé.
The last person I DM’ed was:
Not happy to hear from me.
My last Seamless order:
If I worked at Cosmo, I’d want my job to be:
Part-time.
My friends know I’m in a bad mood when I:
Threaten them with violence.
My friends know I’m in a good mood when I:
Threaten them with violence and follow through with it.
Biggest perk of starring in a Broadway show you also wrote:
All the emails!
When ________ came to see my Oh, Mary! performance, I knew I’d made it.
Biggest downside to wearing a giant hoop skirt:
I can’t sit down to pee (which is my favorite way to pee).
Secret I’ve kept for way too long:
It burns when I pee.
Styled by Brandon Tan. Hair by Jadis Jolie at E.D.M.A. Makeup by Sasha Borax for MAC Cosmetics.
Vice president of video: Jason Ikeler. Director of video: Amanda Kabbabe. Director of photography: Alvah Holmes. Cinematographers: Alex Scully and Jay Aguirre. Director/producer: Alissa Godwin. Editors: Brandon Botta, Peter Cooper. Behind-the-scenes video: Maxwell Losgar and Sarah Ng.
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