Other than snacks, the thing my kid asks for the most is to go to the park. For better or for worse, our local park is just one block away, which means in the warmer months, we’re often there at least twice a day. I’m grateful for the space for her to play, but it’s also exhausting chasing her around in the sun.
That’s why I’ve become that parent who sits on the bench near the play structure, glancing intermittently at my phone while keeping a cautious eye on my daughter’s movements. Her dad is on a totally different wavelength: He prefers to play games with her on the playground, or at least more closely monitor her by circling the play structure like a shark, ready to respond to any incident in a split second.
One Mom Explains Why She Doesn’t Play with Her Kids at the Park
Both of us respect each others’ methods, but our difference of opinion on the proper role of a caregiver at the playground brought to mind a Reel I recently watched on Instagram.
In it, a mom named Amanda who goes by @free.as.amother on Instagram, is sitting on a park bench with her coffee, watching her kids play. In the caption, she writes that her Reel is a direct response to a video she watched in which another parent stated that parents should be getting up off the park benches to play with their kids.
Amanda’s take is just one word: “No.”
“I’m not saying to never intervene, play with, or support your kiddo,” the mom of three boys continued in the caption. “I’m just highlighting here that it’s okay if you don’t want to be the adult scaling the playground.”
Why Kids Should Play Independently Sometimes
Of course, this advice is only applicable to kids who are old enough to walk on unsteady ground without falling. But like Amanda, now that my daughter is a little older, I’m the parent who strongly believes in my right to rest–and also in the playground as a place where my kid can flex her socialization and motor skills while getting her first taste of independence.
In fact, she calls the playground, “a space where they get to experience some freedom, explore, interact and engage with other children without their parent breathing down their neck.”
The majority of commenters agreed with Amanda. One particularly memorable comment reads, “Let them be bored. Let them get creative. Let them make new friends. Their parent is not their court jester. The playground is meant for kids to play, not parents.”
Many other commenters offered the reminder that especially for parents who stay at home with their kids, taking them to the park is the only break they get from parenting. Others mentioned that at home, parents are playing their kids near-constantly, so the playground is a chance for them to engage with their peers.
There Can Be Downsides to Not Watching Your Kids Every Move
Detractors to Amanda’s stance weren’t necessarily judging the parents who sit on the sidelines while their kids play, but they did emphasize the importance of at least keeping an eye on kids who are running fast and recklessly, often on high platforms, around these big metal structures where there is plenty of opportunity for injury or conflict with other kids.
“You don’t need to play with the kids, but you do need to watch them,” one commenter. “I can’t stand parents who sit on the bench staring at their phone while their kid is terrorizing other children or not playing on the equipment properly.”
So okay, yes, it’s still paramount to keep parent mode switched to on at the playground, even if you are comfortable allowing your child to play independently.
And by the way, if you’re like my daughter’s dad and you enjoy playing with dinosaurs or catching with your kids at the park, that is also your right. Don’t worry, you aren’t stunting their ability to socialize or play independently if they occasionally prefer to play with you rather than random kids at the park.
As one commenter on Amanda’s post put it, “If the park is your place to bond with your child, that’s cool. If the park is where you encourage independent exploration, that’s perfectly okay, too. Neither is bad.”
Read the original article on Parents
