Survivor 48 is here! Every week, Parade.com’s Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off of the island.
Star Toomey got a bad rap on Survivor 48. No, I’m not talking about the rhymes that she brought to the island through her final moments on the show. But freestyling, while her default swim stroke, also describes her perception during her 19 days in the game. From the beginning, she was seen as a wildcard, making questionable moves every step of the way with her Beware Advantage. But don’t let that excitable energy fool you; her eyes were firmly on the prize the entire time. That includes this most recent round, when the “sales expert” tried to make her pitch to take down the majority. Unfortunately for Star, while the revolution was televised, it was short-lived. And, that night, she went supernova, releasing a bright light in what was ultimately a final gesture.
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Days before the game, Star told me that her sister and brother-in-law had created a list of “rules” for her to follow while on the island. One of them: “Look for the idols, but don’t make it obvious.” Unfortunately, she failed to live up to the second part of that recommendation, as her early and frequent idol hunts immediately put Star in everyone’s proverbial telescope. And things got even more public when she brought nearly everyone in the tribe in on solving it. The one person she left out: Eva Erickson, who she looked to target after she suggested Star sit out of the next challenge. Their relationship took a major turn, however, following Eva having a post-challenge “episode,” where she revealed to everyone that she was autistic. Feeling touched by her story, and indebted after she helped finally unlock her idol, Star chose to publicly give it to her former rival, hoping they could move into the next part of the game working side-by-side rather than head-to-head.
What a difference a week makes. Star walked into the merge with a bevy of new relationships to make, hoping to change her fate from being an outcast in the first half of the game. But once things began to settle in the jury phase, she found herself back in the same position: On the outs. Looking to change the game rather than just survive another day, Star, Mary Zheng and Kamilla Karthigesu began to put in the plan to flip things on the clear foursome that were running things. Unfortunately, after Star cast a vote against her swim coach Mitch Guerra, he was not keen to synchronize with her, ending any plans of a “revolution.” With the idea squashed, it became very clear one of the outsiders in Star or Mary would go. Star kept a cool head, despite it being on the chopping block, vowing to listen to her gut and not be paranoid. Unfortunately, while she laid back, it just made it that easier for everyone to stab her in the front. Vampire lover Star got staked by the majority, as she started her Survivor afterlife on the jury.
Now out of the game, Star talks with Parade about why she chose not to play her Shot in the Dark, despite Mitch telling her to, her complicated relationship with Eva (and why she chose to give her the idol), and how she reacts to being perceived as “chaotic.”
Related: Read our Survivor 48 pre-game interview with Star Toomey
I know you have such an excitable energy and are incredibly talkative. So I was surprised to see, once you were voted out, you didn’t say anything or even acknowledge anyone else on your way out. What were you feeling in that moment?
Well, the irony with that–and I think if some people really look at the detail in my body language and how I maneuver when I get up to get my torch, I already have my book bag on my back. Once I saw it was [three Star, three Mary], I said, “I’ll be damned.”
I started grabbing it. And when Jeff said, “Star,” I’m like, “That’s it. That’s cool. No worries, no problem, no hard feelings.” But let’s not be fake. Let’s not be fake. I’m not responding to y’all because I would have respected y’all more if y’all just said, “I’m writing your name down.” Now we can have the goodbyes. I don’t think they showed it, but the only person that actually told me, “Hey, I’m writing your name down” was Shauhin, and I respected that. But before he told me that, he said, “You played a hell of a game, and that’s why I have to get you out.” And I said, “Man, I’ve been trying to get you out since Day 1. I got you.” And honestly, that’s all I can ever ask for. Look me in my face and tell me you’re gonna stab me in my back. Don’t stab me in my back and tell me you love me. No, not here, not today.
You made a point to say that paranoia was a choice you were not subscribing to. And Mitch had told you to play your Shot in the Dark, something you even acknowledged at Tribal Council. So was there something done or said to really make you feel like you didn’t have to play it?
So for me, the reason why I didn’t play the Shot in the Dark is because I knew they were just trying to fish it out. And I’m like, “If I play this Shot of the Dark now, tomorrow, I’m definitely going home. This is the only thing I have left.” Obviously, in my better judgment, I kind of hope that maybe some way, some how, Eva would have been like, “Jeff, I’m playing this for Star!” But that was in a daydream of mine a long, long, long, long time ago. And that’s her game. I get it. But for me, I really, really, really thought that the numbers were on my side, and that’s just because I’m a confident person. Sometimes it’s to a fault.
[And] as I’m talking, I’m like, “I think I did a Chrissy.” I might have put my foot in my mouth similar to Chrissy in a previous Tribal Council, before she got voted out. She’s like, “We gotta get these strong guys out.” And I’m like, “Chrissy, please!” [Laughs.] So I think I probably put my foot in my mouth. I shouldn’t have been too confident. People don’t like that. I see they like it better when you’re insecure, scared and running away or hiding behind somebody. I told them I beat to the beat of my own drum. Shaheen says sometimes the drum has to stop beating. I said, “Oh, baby, this drum never stops beating.” And that’s true. I looked at Uncle JP. I said, “Hit me where it hurts. Hey, snuff my torch.”
When it comes to your 19-day drum solo, we see one of the reasons you’re targeted over Mary is because you’re perceived as more of a “wildcard” and “chaotic.” What’s your reaction to that perception? Was that something you knew on the island?
I think it was a lot of projecting. Even watching back, we’re all watching ourselves. For me, watching myself was a delight. I’m a really nice person. I’m a wonderful person already. But to really see myself from another view, I’m like, “Wow, am I really this nice?” [Laughs.] I’ll give a stranger a billion dollars if this is the case! I’m scared of me! I gotta get away from this. I gotta get my Russell Hantz on or something. I gotta be a villain. There’s a scene in the previous Survivor season, and Sandra Diaz-Twine goes, “I don’t even know why I’m with you guys. I’m not even a villain. I should be with the Heroes.” And I’m like, I” don’t even know why I’m with you guys! I’m not a hero. I want to be a villain!” [Laughs.] But it’s just not for my game.
So when everyone’s calling me chaotic, every time I look at myself, I’m eating a coconut on this bamboo. Every time I look at myself, I’m rolling out of bed trying to figure out how I can make my back sit up straight. Because we’ve been laying on this bamboo for days. Some people were sleeping on the floor. I couldn’t do that. Some people were sleeping in the sand. I couldn’t do that. The most comfortable place was the bamboo on the top at camp. So once again, for everyone to call me chaotic, I was trying to figure out where the chaos was!
And I’ve heard that all the way through. Some people were like, “They don’t want to work with you because they think you’re too much. They don’t want to work with you because of this.” And I honestly think that people just didn’t want to take the time to understand me. And maybe if they understood me, they would know that I’m actually a really cool, genuine, loyal person. But unfortunately, they maybe misjudged me prior to or closed me off and said, “No, thank you.” And at that point, I see myself trying to find groups that I can get in, and they’re closing the door, closing the door, closing the door. It’s like a restaurant you’re about to walk in. And next thing you know, the owner goes, “Closed!” [Laughs.]
Well what may have gotten you off on that “wildcard” path was in the beginning of the game, when you search very publicly for this Beware Advantage, then bring nearly everyone in the tribe in to help solve it. Was there a strategy behind that besides just needing help to get the idol?
The thing with the Beware Advantage is I wasn’t looking for it. I was told, “If you find something, you let me know” by Joe. And I said, “Okay.” And he said, “If I find something, I’ll let you know.” From Day 1, when we got on the Lagi Beach, he said he wanted to work with me. I was like, “Oh, my God! Me?! Okay, cool. Say less.” And then so once I find that Beware Advantage, I only went looking because I’m like, “Am I on the bottom? Y’all talking about sitting me out of this game? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me go do what I need to do to figure this out.” So maybe if I would have shut up and not said anything at all, I think I would have been able to figure it out by myself.
But the thing with that is, once I went to Joe, he didn’t know how to fix it or unlock it. He told me to go tell Shauhin, because Shauhin is a college debate professor. I’m like, “Alright, come on, teacher, help me!” And so I go to him, and at first, you can tell he might be trying to help me. But then, of course, I start talking too much, and then I try to bring other folks in. And now Bianca knows, now Thomas knows. And everyone’s telling me different letters. So at first it was like, “L, V, E, W.” There’s 26 letters to the alphabet. What are we doing right now? Everyone’s telling me X or V or N. That was chaotic. It was so much chaos because everyone was telling me different letters. And I’m trying to trust these people, because they all seem like they want to work with me. But the whole time, they were playing me.
The person to finally unlock it was, of all people, the only one you chose not to tell about the idol initially in Eva. You two had a rocky relationship up to that point. But in that moment, following her disclosing her autism to you all, you chose to give her the idol. Talk to me about everything that led to that decision.
So giving Eva the idol, a lot of people say that was bad gameplay. But honestly, for me, I think that was the best gameplay I could have. That idol and that Beware Advantage really was hovering over me like crazy. A lot of folks don’t know, but when you have a certain thing for a certain amount of time, you only have so much time to open it. I knew that the merge was coming up, and I knew if I did not open this thing before these other people get on the group, it was going to go away. And I couldn’t take it possibly going away. So honestly, the fulfillment for me was watching her open it. And, realistically speaking, finder’s keepers, loser’s weepers. You weep in the corner.
But the truth is, I really, in that moment, I’m like, “Hey, man, let’s turn a new leaf. Eva, here’s my olive branch. I’m extending it to you.” Because I could have given it to anybody. But in that moment, I’m like, “Come on, girl, let’s go. I get you now. I understand you.” And I related to that story, because I have a lot of nephews, nieces, and my older cousin. They all on the spectrum, all have autism. And I’m like, “Okay, I get it now.” At first, I’m like, “Why does she keep talking about why I can’t swim? Why do you keep picking on me about this and that?” And I’m like, “Oh, that’s not that. It’s not that at all. You’re not picking on me. You’re just calling out the obvious.” And I can respect that. I can respect somebody that’s going to look in my face and say, “Hey, I don’t like that shirt!”
So what was your reaction when you see last night that she’s one of the main people pushing to get you out, despite you giving her the idol?
The more I watch, I’m like, “Girl, leave me alone! [Laughs.] Can’t you say somebody else’s name?!” Are we all okay with Mitch snoring here? You would rather have somebody snoring than me who don’t snore – even if I do snore a little, but not as loud as Mitch. But the more I’m watching, I’m like, “Why do you keep saying my name?” But, in the same breath, I think Shauhin can also say the same thing, because his was the only name I ever said. So if my name was the only name Eva said, I’m honored. Because that means, some way, somehow, maybe she saw me as a threat. Or maybe she just really wanted to get rid of me, I don’t know. But I don’t know why she kept saying my name! I’m like, “Girl, I thought we were friends! We’re supposed to be friends. Why did you say my name?” [Laughs.]
Last night, we also saw this out-of-context moment where Joe called you his “kryptonite.” Do you have any sense as to what that meant? Does that speak to the relationship you had?
No, I don’t know. Because, honestly, when you watch and you see, Joe is giving the Godfather. You can even place him as another Boston Rob. It’s like, “We’re not talking no more.” Remember that one scene where Boston Rob just sat there and he’s like, “Everybody’s gonna sit here. No one talk gameplay. People are gonna come by, but no one’s gonna talk gameplay. Nope.” So if you watch and you see the moments, everyone’s clinging on to him, the father figure vibe. I’m even still coming back to him. I’m asking who’s in his Final Three. And it’s like, “Girl, wake up! He doesn’t see you, baby!” And I’m like, “But Joe, who do you think?” And that’s the irony of it all. He’s such a great guy that you gel to him. Even if you know, “Dang, I don’t think this is smart. I should trust my better judgment.” When you go talk to him, you’re looking for insight. You’re looking to see, “Does this make sense?” And he’s gonna listen. He’s gonna listen. He’s gonna do a little bit of this and a little bit of this, but he’s definitely gonna listen. Might not say much, but he’ll end it with, “I got you, girl.”
We saw you try to start this “revolution” against the alliance in power, only for it to quickly fall apart. From our perspective, it seemed as simple as Mitch not trusting you and Mary after you voted against him. In your opinion, was that the reason why your move didn’t work? Or were there other things at play?
Of course, in the beginning we’re like, “Yeah, the revolution will be televised! Let’s get it. Let’s go. We’re gonna get the bottom to the top some way, somehow.” But the more we watch it, I’m like, “We never stood a chance.” We never stood a chance. A lot of times, when I’m pulling the rope [in the Immunity Challenge], I’m trying to tell myself, “Star, we need this. We need this.” I’m watching to my right. I see Kamilla. I’m like, “Girl, you need this. You need this.” I’m looking to my left. I see Mitch. I said, “We have to win.” When we realize Joe wins, it’s like, “Where do we go from here?” Of course, I pitch another idea. I say, “Hey, would y’all do Shauhin? Would you do Eva?” And you see the faces. And me and Mitch are talking, and he’s on the hammock, and he’s like, “Nah, I don’t know. I’ll let you know.” And everyone knows in Survivor, if no one gives you a definite answer and they say, “Hmm, I don’t know,” the answer is, “No, I’m not helping you.” And that’s exactly what it is. I feel like maybe if I didn’t write Mitch name down at the previous Tribal Council, it would have been different. But honestly, I still think that he would have still went with the majority, just to protect himself. And I get it, you have to protect yourself in this game. And if you’re on a sinking ship, you gotta jump. And unfortunately, I was a sinking ship.
Let’s finish by talking about your edit. Considering the energy I got off of you in the preseason, I was surprised to see you so quiet during the first half of the game. But despite your smaller edit, you still had people in the fanbase supporting you, including an entire “Star Updates” account that got shouted out by Survivor social media. What was your experience like watching your story back, and watching the fans get to go through those ups and downs as well?
Shout out Star Updates! I’m glad that I was able to bring some joy to people who were watching. A little laugh goes a long way in a game like Survivor, where sometimes everything seems serious, people just seem so sad and hungry or just starving and villainous. I was glad I was able to put some lightheartedness into it. I honestly, you can tell from the first time you land on that island Day 1 and you see me, each day I’m losing a little energy. Because I know you need that support. You need those people around you to uplift you. And in a game when you have no number one, when you’re not really a part of any alliance, when you don’t really have anywhere to go, you’re kind of seen talking to yourself in the coconut, trying to motivate yourself. And it’s a couple times where I’m on the island, it’s a challenge, and I’m defeated and all, I needed somebody to say, “Hey, it’ll be okay.” But in those moments, I had to tell my own self. Because once again, if you don’t have a person, if you don’t have an alliance, if you’re not a part of the majority, you’re on your own, you’re alone. And I can tell from the beginning, when I first started, I had so much hope and so much “I got this.” And then each time, it just seemed a little different.
And my story did change when we did that tribe swap. I felt like new Lagi welcomed me in. New Lagi gave me the confidence that I needed to say, “Hey, man, it’s not over yet. It’s not over yet.” But once David got voted out, like I said in my confessional, everything just went downhill from there, and I knew eventually my demise would come. Because I thought at least me, David and Mary, that was my biggest, tightest alliance that I could at least talk to or say, “Hey guys, you okay?” And they’re like, “Yeah, we’re okay.” So it’s a tough thing. It’s a tough thing. But each episode, you can kind of see my energy depleting. You can see my smile go. And it’s sad to say that when I’m watching, because I just know I just needed that community. And when you don’t got a community with you, you’re just going to be alone.
Related: ‘Survivor 48’s David Kinne Reveals He Was Broken Up With and Changed States and Jobs After His Boot (Exclusive)
