Growing up, Molly Machado’s mom, Pan, was her emotional anchor
Their special bond extended beyond their immediate family, and included Pan’s tight-knit book club
So when Machado was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Machado leaned on her mom’s friends
Molly Machado’s mom, Pan, was her emotional anchor — the person she turned to for all matters of the heart, a soft place to land when life felt overwhelming.
From a young age, the mother-daughter pair shared a special bond, one that extended beyond their immediate family. Pan surrounded Machado with her village — including the tight-knit group of women in her book club. Most of them, her mom included, had known each other for more than 40 years.
It was this village, along with her mom, that helped nurture Machado’s passion for writing. As Machado began journaling and writing creatively at an early age, her mom immediately recognized her talent. Pan, who understood the power of words, encouraged Machado to keep writing, knowing it was a unique and meaningful part of who she was.
“She would tell me that my ability to write was a special gift and that not everyone could do that — make emotions come alive on paper the way I could,” Machado, 38, shares exclusively with PEOPLE. “If I was upset about something or someone, she would encourage me to write about it.”
Courtesy of Molly Machado
Molly Machado with her mom
As Machado’s passion for writing grew, she began working on a book. For a long time, a draft sat on the shelf, tucked away in silence, and she kept it a secret until about a year before publishing it. Like many writers, she struggled with self-doubt and the fear — especially with ADHD — that she might never finish.
During this time, life moved on, taking unexpected turns. She got married, had two children and watched her mom’s health deteriorate with Alzheimer’s, a diagnosis Pan had received at a younger age.
“My hands were full,” Machado recalls. “But I kept coming back to the book, working on it in the pockets of time I could find. Having a mom with Alzheimer’s taught me the meaning of ‘life’s too short.’ I try to live in a way that I’ll have no regrets about not following my dreams.”
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Molly Machado with her mom on her wedding day
Sadly, by the time Machado, who lives in the Greater Seattle Area, finished the book, her mom was bedridden and unable to communicate much. Yet, Machado continued to share all of her life’s big moments with her mom during visits, including the book and her pregnancies.
“I like to think she understood me, and appreciated being the first to know everything significant in my life,” Machado says. “But I know with every part of me, that she would be beaming with pride and telling the entire world if she were able.”
Pan died at 74 years old, just 10 months before Machado’s book, An Indian-ish Proposal, was published. The book, a romantic comedy, is an exaggerated version of the true story of how Machado met and fell in love with her now-husband, who is Indian.
Machado says her mom is very much represented as a character in the book. One of the central themes is how 30-something, single and seemingly unencumbered MC Sammi Miller juggles the secret struggles of caregiving and her mom’s illness.
“This is based on my real-life experience navigating my mom’s illness at a stage in my life when I was focused on things like my career, finding a partner and independence,” Machado says. “I don’t want to give it all away, but there is a sense of urgency Sammi is dealing with in her love life.”
“The book is also dedicated to my mom,” she adds. “I wrote my dedication long before she passed; it was always meant to be dedicated to her. But after she passed, and I re-read my dedication, that was tough. It was a hard pill to swallow that I would never physically get to show or read to her that dedication.”
Courtesy of Molly Machado
Molly Machado with her mom
In the time since Pan’s passing, Machado has leaned on her mom’s village and her own family to help her navigate the challenging times.
One of the key figures in this support system is her godmother, Mary, who could be called the ringleader of the group. Another important presence is one of Pan’s closest and dearest friends, who also happened to be Machado’s hairdresser for more than 30 years. And then there’s the woman they all call Auntie Chris, who has been a constant in their lives.
So, when Mary learned that Machado was hosting her second major book signing event near her hometown of Edmonds, Wash., at Barnes & Noble Alderwood, she got an idea. She wanted to coordinate with the rest of the group to come to the book signing and surprise Machado, and then choose the book for their book club’s monthly pick.
When the day rolled around, the group showed up and captured the moment on camera.
“In the moment I got very nervous and jittery with such a spotlight on me,” Machado says. “My first thought was this is so sweet, and so amazing, and such a kind thing. My second thought was, ‘Oh my God, they are going to read the spicy scenes in my book.’ These are my mom’s church friends, after all.”
“The next day though, after the nervousness of being the center of attention had passed, I was looking at the picture of us all and just started bawling. It was an overwhelming feeling, to be honest. I was consumed with the grief, the love, the joy and nostalgia — a kind of achy joy.”
Courtesy of Molly Machado
Molly Machado with her late-mom’s book club
Later, Machado posted about the surprise on TikTok, where it went viral, amassing thousands of views and hundreds of comments.
Reading through the comments, the author says she couldn’t help but cry. The comments that got to her the most were from people who had also lost their moms, talking about what it meant to them to still have their mom’s friends around and show up to big life events. Or from people whose moms are currently ill or on hospice.
“You never know how a small act of kindness, which may seem not that big of a deal, can impact someone,” she says. “Also, if there’s anything my mom taught me, it was to show up for people. A lot of times when someone around you experiences a loss, you might not know what to say or do. It can be awkward. My mom would say, show up anyways. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Don’t ask them, ‘What can I do to help?’ Offer to do something specific, make a meal, write a card, send a message on holidays. Whatever it is, just do the thing. It can mean more than you know.”
Courtesy of Molly Machado
Molly Machado with her late-mom’s book club
When the next book club night rolled around, Machado showed up and the group first got caught up on life.
They spent the night talking about her mom’s character in the book, the real-life version of her, and the challenges Machado and her siblings had faced with their mom’s illness. They discussed how isolating Alzheimer’s can be, in particular. It was a very healing night.
“I hate that my mom isn’t here to be a part of it, because it would have thrilled her immensely,” the writer says. “She would be telling everyone she knows that her daughter is a published author. She would have been embarrassingly bragging about it. But having my mom’s friends show up gave me a piece of what that would be like, to have her there.”
“I kind of feel like my mom made all this happen just so she could be like, ‘See, I’m going to find a way to brag about you, even if it’s from heaven,’ ” she adds.
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