By Jonathan Klotz
| Published
In today’s world, hyperbole abounds as everything is either the best, for example, “The Expanse is the best sci-fi show ever made,” or the worst, as in “Dino Bravo is the worst.” When everything is either the greatest ever or the worst thing to ever happen it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that Uwe Boll makes the worst movies of all time. Who Killed Captain Alex has more redeeming qualities than Far Cry, and even Neil Breen’s Fateful Findings isn’t as bad as Alone in the Dark, which is why it shocked the world when Boll came out of retirement for First Shift, a police crime drama that inexplicably debuted at number two on Paramount+.
First Shift Is A Generic Police Drama
First Shift plays out like the pilot episode of a CBS procedural, right down to the grizzled NYPD cop forced to work with a younger, more idealistic officer. In this case, it’s Gino Anthony Pesi, a veteran recurring character actor on many police procedurals, as Deo Russo, whom you learn quickly and repeatedly, likes to work alone, and Kristen Renton, best known for a small background role on Sons of Anarchy, as the Georgia-born officer with a less. The two mix like oil and water but find common ground while checking off every police drama trope that has ever existed.
It’s impressive that in a post-Training Day world, anyone would attempt a movie about a first day on the job as earnestly as First Shift. Yet that’s what Uwe Boll does, including endless tracking shots that show nearly every street sign in New York while a soundtrack that manages to be more 80s than Beverly Hills Cop assaults the eardrums of every viewer. There’s also no plot to speak of, only a series of vaguely connected scenes as the officers interact with an endless parade of colorful New York stereotypes straight out of central casting.
The Bizarre Appeal Of Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll stopped making movies for eight years to pursue other dreams, including opening a restaurant and making documentaries. First Shift is his first feature since returning, and as with so many of his films, it’s inexplicably popular. Not only is the audience for police dramas huge, it’s been a while since Hollywood made a major movie in the genre, but as with most of his films, no matter how awkward the dialogue is, how poorly developed the characters are, and the unexplainable editing decisions that abound from start to finish, the film is oddly watchable.
The bizarre appeal of Boll’s movies may be hard to explain, and it’s impossible to explain how Uwe Boll managed to get Jason Statham to star in Dungeon Siege, but his grand return to movies makes sense when you break it down. First Shift is under 90 minutes long, making it a breezy watch, and though it plays out like an alien who studied the cop dramas of the 80s before deciding to make one of their own, those tropes and story beats exist for a reason: they work. Is Boll really a horrible director who has no understanding of how to write a screenplay, or is he a mad genius who knows exactly what to do to appeal to the least discerning parts of the public?
No one really knows for sure, but you can catch First Shift on Paramount+ and judge for yourself.
