Janelle from Raleigh, North Carolina, says she “did the ultimate no-no” when she bought a house with someone to whom she wasn’t married. After about a year, they broke up and she moved out.
Now, they’re four months behind in mortgage payments, haven’t been able to sell the house and are facing foreclosure.
She’s also racked up $25,000 in loans and credit card debt. Since she no longer communicates with her ex-fiance, she isn’t sure how to fix her situation, so she called into The Ramsey Show to find out what her options are.
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Both Janelle and her ex are on the mortgage and property deed.
“We’re four months behind,” she told show cohosts, and while they’ve been trying to sell the home and recoup their losses, so far they haven’t had any takers — and they still have $465,000 left on the mortgage.
When the romance is dead — but the mortgage lives on
Now, Janelle says they’re “in the process of asking the mortgage company for a short sale to see if that’s even possible.”
“I don’t see a way out of this unless you guys can find a way to sell it before it forecloses,” cohost George Kamel said.
First, however, they need to get caught up on their mortgage payments and try to avoid foreclosure. While her ex tried to float the mortgage for a few months, he’s now stopped making payments. Janelle also stopped paying her share when she moved out because she’s paying rent elsewhere.
But, when your name is on the mortgage, that reasoning doesn’t fly.
“You are legally obligated to pay that [mortgage],” cohost Ken Coleman said, “whether you’ve moved out or not.”
Janelle brings home about $6,000 a month after taxes, pays about $2,400 in rent and still has money leftover for her “expenses,” which includes putting money aside into her 401(k). She also has about $4,000 in savings.
“We need to pause all of that.” Kamel advised. “You need to act like everything is on fire. And you need to work on getting out of this house mess and paying off your debt.”
They’re about $12,000 in arrears on their mortgage, so they need to “both put some skin in the game” to get caught up on payments. That means giving up any expenses that aren’t necessary — including investments — until they’re out of this hole. It could also mean Janelle getting a second job for a short period of time or her ex getting a temporary roommate until they can get caught up and eventually sell the house.
“That’s going to be your best bet — just trying to sell this thing ASAP even if you have to lower the price,” Kamel said, “instead of going through a short sale or, worst case, that foreclosure.”
Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it
What to consider before you buy a house together
Buying property with someone you’re not married to — whether a partner, friend or family member — can be rewarding but does come with legal and financial risks.
It’s a small, but still significant, percentage of homebuyers, with 9% of recent homebuyers being unmarried couples, according to the National Association of Realtors 2024 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers Report.
Long before you start searching for a home together, you’ll need to decide on a budget and how much each of you will contribute. It’s also a good idea to review each other’s finances, including credit scores. You’ll then have to decide on the ownership structure: joint tenancy (equal property ownership) or tenancy in common (unequal shares).
If you’re unmarried, lenders will assess the credit scores of each buyer. So, if your partner has a low credit score, that could impact your ability to get approved for a mortgage.
On the flip side, if only one partner has their name on the mortgage and title, the other loses out on building equity (and if they split up).
You’ll also need to account for expenses above and beyond the mortgage, such as property taxes, insurance premiums, homeowners associations (HOA) fees, maintenance costs, utility bills and any other household expenses.
While a 50/50 split makes this much easier — where each partner contributes half to the down payment, each pays half of the mortgage each month and they split the utilities and other household expenses — it doesn’t always work out this way. Maybe one partner puts down money for the down payment, or they agree that one will pay the mortgage and the other covers the rest of the bills.
Whatever the case, you’ll want this agreement in writing. A cohabitation or joint homeownership agreement is a legally binding contract (preferably drafted by a legal professional) that details what will happen in the case of a breakup.
This agreement should outline each person’s rights and responsibilities, and what happens if they break up or one partner wants to sell. Otherwise, you’ll have to come up with your own settlement — at a time when tempers could be flaring — or rely on the legal procedures in your state, meaning the court could make that decision for you.
If you end up getting married, then you can update the ownership structure. But if you break up, having a legally binding agreement in place can help avoid a situation like Janelle finds herself in — and she’d understand that she can’t just stop paying the mortgage because she moved out.
“You’re going to need to start communicating — you guys entered quite the partnership here to then just flee the coop,” Kamel said, adding that even if they can’t stand each other, “you’re kind of stuck right now until you guys figure out the next move.”
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
