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A woman who recently gave birth says her in-laws are stressing her out
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In a viral post shared to Reddit, the woman writes that in the eight days since she had her child, her mother-in-law, sister-in-law and two brothers-in-law have all descended upon her home or the hospital
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Now, she’s seeking help via the Internet
A newly postpartum woman says her husband’s family is “steamrolling” her following the birth of their child.
In a viral post shared to Reddit, the 28-year-old woman writes that she just had her first baby eight days ago.
“It’s been an emotional rollercoaster, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid — so here I am,” she writes.
Her mother-in-law, she adds, came to stay with her and her husband “uninvited shortly after the birth.”
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“I have no idea how long she’s planning to stay, and while she’s helped with chores like dishes and laundry, there have been a lot of little things building up that are making me feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable in my own home,” she adds.
Some of those things include that while she was in labor, she and her husband “explicitly asked for no visitors” so she could rest and recover — but the in-laws came to the hospital anyway, getting upset when they learned the couple had already named their child.
A few days later, the woman writes that her sister-in-law came to “help.”
“When she came over, I was in the room changing my baby to bring him out to meet her — she later told me I ‘broke her heart’ by not coming out to welcome her,” she writes. “Then she said I needed to make sure my mother-in-law feels welcome because ‘last time’ I didn’t.”
Shortly after that, her mother-in-law showed up again — this time, with two of her brothers-in-law and one of their wives.
“It was way too much for me — emotionally and physically. I had said I didn’t want people kissing the baby, but MIL didn’t respect that, and even the BIL’s wife asked why we had ‘rules’ for the baby, which really annoyed me,” she writes. “When I kiss my baby, they act confused like ‘why is she allowed to kiss him?’ — like… I birthed him?”
Elsewhere in the post, the woman writes that her mother-in-law “is fixated on bathing the baby, even though I’ve explained multiple times (and the midwife confirmed) that we’ll bathe him after his umbilical cord falls off.”
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“She keeps pushing for things like giving him water, swaddling against my instructions, and trying to take over during diaper changes or when I’m dressing him. I keep asserting myself, but it’s exhausting having to repeat myself every day,” she shares.
The “kicker,” she adds, is that her mother-in-law recently asked her to cook the family a meal — while she was “8 days postpartum, exhausted, and recovering.”
“I don’t want to be ungrateful. I appreciate the help, but I feel like my boundaries are being completely steamrolled and I’m just trying to survive the first days of motherhood,” she writes.
Some commenters are suggesting that perhaps that’s just the way the husband’s family is — though it needs to be dealt with.
“This is probably just who they are as a family, which is not helpful for your recovery. Your husband needs to make it clear to his family you need a few days,” writes one.
Adds another: “Is it possible you’re overreacting? Certainly. But your requests aren’t completely unreasonable. You’re the baby’s mother. Yet your MIL is completely disregarding your wishes.”
Read the original article on People
