NEED TO KNOW
A woman is voicing her frustration after her mother-in-law sat her husband down to discuss her “hoarding” behavior
In a post on Reddit, she writes that the conversation happened while she was away and therefore wasn’t able to defend herself
Now some Reddit users are offering advice on how best to handle the situation moving forward
One woman says she’s “done” after her mother-in-law sat her husband down to discuss her “hoarding” behavior.
In a post published to Reddit, the anonymous woman writes that the incident happened while she was away and therefore wasn’t able to defend herself.
“My MIL believes if she doesn’t tell people what they’re doing wrong, they can’t ‘fix themselves.’ We’ve had ongoing issues for years,” she writes.
For background, the woman notes that her mother-in-law spent years “criticizing” her every move, forcing her husband has set clear boundaries with his mom.
“My partner finally emailed setting firm boundaries: stop assuming the worst of me, stop telling us how to run our house, stop criticizing, or we’d distance ourselves,” the rules read.
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Stock image of a dirty living room
However, while the poster was away on a recent trip, her mother-in-law offered to help watch the kids, but then used the time to criticize her behind her back, questioning their parenting and calling their kids “awful.”
At one point, she writes that the woman even “sat my partner down to tell him I’m a ‘hoarder,'” listing “specific complaints, like how many boxes of baking soda I have, how much mustard, too many toys.”
Her father-in-law also “jumped in about home maintenance” issues, such as blinds that need replacing, lawn care, and dog poop in their yard, which the poster usually takes care of but obviously couldn’t do while she was away.
Her partner, she writes, “shut it down and went to bed,” but she now feels “hurt and exhausted.”
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“I’m in grad school full-time, managing two special needs children, dealing with my own disabilities, and maintaining our household while partner works long hours. I cleaned every room and did yard work before leaving,” she adds.
She sent a text addressing the issue, and telling her mother-in-law that they’ve “repeatedly asked” her to stop making such “negative comments” and that “household management isn’t up for discussion.”
“When our family is drowning, they critique our swimming technique instead of offering help,” she told her mother-in-law, noting that “if they can’t support without criticism, we’ll limit contact.”
Now, she is expecting “pushback” and is unsure where to go from here, as they are supposed to go on a family vacation in a few months.
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Reddit users are weighing in with their takes.
“If they think you’re a hoarder and your home is a mess, that’s fine, but if they say it out loud, the consequence is that they are no longer allowed over … If they can’t abstain from discussing household decisions, then the consequence is that you and your husband quit sharing with them,” one user wrote.
Adds another: “Send them another text letting them know they no longer have to worry about your child rearing techniques or your abilities to keep a house, because they aren’t invited back. Then block them. Then there isnt an opportunity for them to try to guilt you into anything. You said what you said and that’s final.”
Read the original article on People
