Katherine Heigl Opens Up About ‘Anxiety’ of Raising Teens — and Why They Might Skip Mother’s Day Brunch (Exclusive)

• Katherine Heigl and her husband Josh Kelley share three children, including two teen daughters, and the actress says parenting in teen years can be a challenge with a lot of ‘drama’

• The Firefly Lane actress is looking forward to Mother’s Day — and time on her own

• Heigl says she wants her kids to learn to be OK with making mistakes

Katherine Heigl is sharing some parenting advice: If you thought the toddler years were scary, the actress says, just wait ’til your kids are teens.

“It really increases your anxiety and your fear as a parent,” says the Firefly Lane and Grey’s Anatomy star, who shares three kids — including two teen daughters with husband and musician Josh Kelley, 45. “You are not as in control as you were when they were little, where you had all the power of keeping them safe and guiding choices. They are their own little people now and they really have their own minds and they’re going through it. It’s a tumultuous time.”

Heigl, 46, says that their daughters, Naleigh, 16, and Adalaide, 13, (their youngest is their son Joshua, 8), didn’t used to have much in common, but as they’ve gotten older, they share more interests. “Now that Adelaide’s 13, they’re both into makeup, they’re both into this TikTok dance and that TikTok dance,” she says. “They’re spending more time together, but that can also go south.”

When it does, she says, “I do not try to interfere or navigate or referee. I walk out the room, I’m like, ‘They’ll work it out.’ And they always do. They’re very close, but they’re teenage girls. They’re going to fight.”

Heigl is taking that same approach of acceptance when it comes to Mother’s Day this year. Last year, she says, the whole family went out to pricey brunch in Park City, Utah, near their home. “It was a per person price and the kids just ate watermelon and toast the whole time!” she says. “I think they’re going to be amazing brunch buddies, but they’re not there yet. They’re not interested in doing that.”

Instead, she says, she’s planning to take her mother out to brunch. just the two of them. And then, she’s considering a little kid-free time: “Is it wrong to want to just maybe be alone for the day in my art studio, do my own thing?” she says with a laugh.

Heigl says she knows she doesn’t always get it right as a mom. “My most shameful moments as a parent are when I lose my temper,” she says. “And I recently did and had to apologize.” But her “prayer every night is that I am the right mother for each of my children and their individual needs,” and that means guiding and loving them, “so that when they get to be adults, they can go slay their own dragons.”

To prepare them, she wants to teach them to “figure out who you actually are, what your values are, what really matters to you and to be okay with making mistakes,” she says. “I’ve tried to be overly perfect my whole life and failed again and again because nobody is perfect. I’ve tried to find a way as I’ve gotten older, to forgive myself for my mistakes and not put that kind of unrealistic expectation on myself, because it really does something to your self-esteem.”

Heigl says she’s also refusing to feel shame about another common struggle mothers can face – one that’s rarely mentioned: incontinence.

“It was absolutely something I had experienced,” says Heigl, who is a brand ambassador for Poise incontinence products, which has been offering a line of promotional Mother’s Day cards (sample message: “To the mom I adore, sorry I might’ve weakened your pelvic floor.”), “Honestly, in five minutes, I’m going to be like, ‘I have to go to the bathroom.’ Because if I hold it for too long and I sneeze or anything, it’s over.”

So many moms go through the same thing, Heigl says. “Why are we not talking about it more? I could have really used it postpartum. Because that’s when it was at its absolute worst. Three or four months after giving birth, I was back to work and I was like, ‘Boy, that was risky in costumes!'”

She adds: “It’s a totally normal natural process of motherhood, aging, perimenopause, menopause, all of it. Why do we act like that’s so shameful to talk about? I’ve had enough of that. We all just need to be grateful we’re still alive.”

Read the original article on People