Jennifer Lopez has shared a deeply personal insight into her past relationships and marriages, revealing that despite giving love, she never felt “truly loved” by her partners. This candid admission, made during a recent appearance on the Howard Stern Show, comes in the wake of her 2024 divorce from Ben Affleck, an experience she now describes as “the best thing” for her profound journey of self-discovery and healing.
In a powerful and vulnerable interview that has resonated deeply with fans and critics alike, global icon Jennifer Lopez opened up about the complexities of her love life, revealing a personal truth many have wondered about. The 56-year-old superstar admitted to Howard Stern that she has never felt truly loved by her partners, a revelation tied closely to her most recent divorce from actor Ben Affleck.
The Unveiling of a Deeply Personal Truth
When pressed by Stern on whether she believed she had ever “truly been loved,” Lopez paused before definitively answering “no.” This wasn’t a statement of bitterness, but rather a profound insight gleaned from years of introspection and personal work. She clarified that her feeling wasn’t due to her own lack of lovability, but rather that her former partners were “not capable” of giving her the kind of love she needed. As Lopez explained, “What I learned, it’s not that I’m not lovable — it’s that they’re not capable. … They don’t have it in them, and they gave me what they had. They gave me all of it, every time. All the rings, all the things I could ever want. The houses, the rings, the marriage. All of it. But…” The unspoken “but” pointed to an emotional void.
A crucial part of this realization, Lopez noted, was acknowledging her own role: “I didn’t love myself.” This self-awareness served as the catalyst for her transformative journey, suggesting that true love must first emanate from within. This perspective offers a valuable lesson for fans, highlighting that external validation can never fully compensate for internal self-worth.
Divorce as a Catalyst for Self-Discovery
Her recent divorce from Ben Affleck, which concluded in 2024 after less than three years of marriage, was unexpectedly described by Lopez as “the best thing that ever happened to me.” This sentiment was previously shared during a September interview on CBS Sunday Morning, where she stated the split “helped me grow in a way that I needed to grow, become more self-aware” and that she is “a different person now than I was last year.”
The aftermath of the divorce propelled her into an intense period of self-improvement. She engaged with various professionals to navigate her emotions and past traumas. “I had a religious coach. I had a therapist, a couple’s therapist, an individual therapist. I had a coach to understand addiction. I had everything. I was like, ‘I’m gonna f***ing figure this s*** out if it kills me,'” she recounted on the Howard Stern Show, as reported by AOL.
A History of High-Profile Marriages and Relationships
Lopez has been married four times, each union capturing significant media attention. Her marital history includes:
- Ojani Noa (1997-1998)
- Cris Judd (2001-2003)
- Marc Anthony (2004-2014), with whom she shares 17-year-old twins, Max and Emme. Despite their separation, Lopez maintains deep respect for Anthony as the father of her children, acknowledging the hard work involved in finding forgiveness after their divorce, as she told Us Magazine in 2016.
- Ben Affleck (2022-2024), her most recent divorce.
She also had high-profile relationships with Sean “Diddy” Combs (1999-2001) and was engaged to Alex Rodriguez before they split in 2021. Each relationship, while seemingly providing “all the rings, all the things,” ultimately led to the same underlying realization about the nature of love and capability.
Reunion with Ben Affleck and the ‘Kiss of the Spider Woman’
Despite their recent divorce, Lopez and Affleck have maintained an amicable relationship, even reuniting at the New York City premiere of Lopez’s new musical drama film, “Kiss of the Spider Woman,” on October 6. Affleck’s production company, Artists Equity, produced the film, and he offered high praise for Lopez’s performance. He told E! News that she was “fabulous” and described her role as having a “maximum level of difficulty for a performer,” given the demands of singing, dancing, and acting.
Lopez herself revealed that working on “Kiss of the Spider Woman” came during a particularly challenging time in her personal life but ultimately helped her through it. Affleck also previously characterized their divorce as “uneventful and free of drama,” telling GQ earlier this year, “there’s no scandal, no soap opera, no intrigue. It’s just a story about people trying to figure out their lives and relationships in ways that we all sort of normally do.”
A New Chapter: Self-Assured and Self-Aware
The intensive self-work Jennifer Lopez undertook has brought her to a place of profound inner peace and confidence. She proudly shared during the interview that she is now “able to sit here in a much more self-assured, self-aware way” and reflect on everything that has shaped her, including her relationships with her parents and how she learned to love. “The core of the thing is you — it’s nobody else,” she affirmed.
She expressed feeling “really comfortable and good in being myself, all the good parts and all the kind of complicated things.” This transformative period marks a significant shift for Lopez, moving from seeking external validation to cultivating a deep appreciation for her authentic self. Her openness offers a powerful message about resilience, personal growth, and the ongoing journey to self-love, resonating deeply with fans who have followed her through every step of her illustrious career and personal life.
