NEED TO KNOW
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Becca Murray hit back at critics who slammed her decision to create a “divorce registry” in a TikTok video on Monday, July 28
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The influencer, 43, created the online gift list after her almost 13-year relationship with Will Gatlin ended earlier this year
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“I do want to just be clear that the existence of the divorce registry does not mean that you have to give to the divorce registry,” she said in her TikTok video
A TikTok influencer is struggling to catch a break after separating from her partner of almost 13 years.
On Monday, July 28, Becca Murray uploaded a video to the social media platform in response to the outrage that was sparked when she made a “divorce registry.” The online gift list included a range of household items such as wall art, bed linens and a dining table that costs over $3,000.
Murray, 43 — a content creator with over 450,000 TikTok followers — didn’t expect to receive several “rude messages” about her decision to create the registry.
“I do want to just be clear that the existence of the divorce registry does not mean that you have to give to the divorce registry,” she said in her TikTok video. “There is zero expectation.
“It was set up because over the course of three months after the split, I had so many people asking how they could support and if they could replace things that I lost in the divorce,” she continued.
Becca Murray/TikTok
Becca Murray talks to her followers about her divorce registry.
Murray said she isn’t good at accepting or asking for help, but was discovering that she needed a variety of things as time passed.
The influencer alleged that the majority of people who’ve reached out and donated have experienced being in her position themselves.
Appearing to hold back tears, she said, “…Folks who have been through this before and understand that reality, understand how difficult it is to deal with the logistical part of all the actual physical things you lost at the same time as having your life, your foundation and your future ripped out from underneath you.
“It’s earth-shattering,” she continued. “I am so grateful to everyone who has supported me in any way. Literally, just through your words and your comments, it has meant so much.”
Murray said that it’s been “helpful” having a platform where she can express what she’s going through while also being excited for the future.
“It is okay for you to not want to engage with me while I’m going through all of this in my life,” she continued. “It is okay for you to not like me.
“It is not okay for you to send threatening messages to me for accepting help from people who have offered it,” Murray concluded. “If you haven’t offered it, I don’t want it. I didn’t ask you.”
Thousands of people liked the now-viral video and the majority of commenters reassured her that the divorce registry was a good idea.
One person wrote, “Been in your shoes and I wish I had done a registry because when I talk about it with friends now they’ve all been so enthusiastic and supportive of it. Thanks for normalizing, you’ve got this.”
Another said, “Wait, but a divorce registry is so smart. Often, people already have things when they get married, but divorce, you actually need stuff and it’s a big, important life change. I see no reason not to support it and even celebrate a little.”
https://people-app.onelink.me/HNIa/kz7l4cuf
A third chimed in, “It’s your divorce, you’re allowed to grieve, process and heal from it however you want to. Stuff the haters who are bitter about past traumas and never healed from them.”
Other responses to the video suggested that the registry concept could be used for other major life changes, such as job loss or cutting ties with parents.
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Murray announced that she was separating from Will Gatlin in an emotional TikTok video on March 29.
A few days later, the influencer penned a Substack explaining why she was referring to the end of their almost 13-year relationship as a divorce despite them not having married.
“Our lives were (are) intertwined in such a way that cannot be undone with a conversation and some moving boxes,” she wrote. “You call it what you want, I’m calling it a divorce.”
Revealing that there is no bad blood between them, she added, “There are no sides. There are just two people, who love each other very much, but… I honestly don’t know what to put after the but.”
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