I recently noticed my neighbor using my spigot and water — how can I deal with this without a big fight?

Just about everyone wants a good relationship with their neighbors. And, generally, the more courteous you are and the more you respect each other’s property and boundaries, the better that relationship is likely to be.

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Don’t miss How to settle a dispute with a neighbor Ways to protect yourself if a neighbor dispute escalates What to read next

But sometimes neighbors overstep in ways they think are innocent, but end up being bothersome and even costly. And if you’re on the receiving end, being put in a situation where you’re forced to address it can be very uncomfortable.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you recently bought a new home and after settling in, you notice that your neighbor is blatantly using your water and garden hose for his property. Not only is he trespassing, but it will also drive up your water bill over time, even if your neighbor insists that it won’t. That’s why it’s important to know how to handle this awkward situation from the start to establish boundaries for the future.

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How to settle a dispute with a neighbor

A 2024 survey by Top Rail Fence found that 46% of respondents have had a dispute with a neighbor, so it’s far from uncommon.

There are several ways you could tackle the situation described above.

You could lock your spigot so your neighbor can’t easily access your water.
You could firmly insist that — even if using your hose and water were the working arrangement with the previous owner — going forward, you are asking they not use your water or trespass onto your property.
if it’s feasible, you may even want to erect a fence
And if these efforts fail, you could even go as far as to write them a certified letter threatening legal action if they don’t stop.

However, before any of that, it’s important to look into whether your neighbor’s claims are correct — that using your spigot won’t increase your water bill. Your best bet in that regard may be to call your utility provider and ask the question for a quick answer.

You can also carefully review your water bill to try to determine whether your neighbor’s claim is accurate or not. But do note, the bill may not break down your usage in enough detail to get an accurate answer. It may only indicate the number of gallons of water used. And it will be difficult to calculate how many of those came from your usage versus that of your neighbor, unless you haven’t moved in yet and used the water yourself.

If your water company confirms that having your neighbor tap your spigot will indeed increase your bill, ask them if they’d be willing to provide a statement to support this. You can show it to your neighbor as proof that their actions are costing you money.

The going principle here is that you want to maintain as pleasant and collaborative a relationship as possible, as neighbors can also be helpful partners (keeping an eye on your property while you’re away, picking up delivery parcels to avoid porch pirates, maintaining neighborhood safety and so on). So these conversations should be conducted in a friendly tone whenever possible.

Perhaps your neighbor genuinely thought their usage wouldn’t add to your bill. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but do explain that because their habit could be driving your bills up, you need for them to stop.

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Ways to protect yourself if a neighbor dispute escalates

If your attempts to resolve a dispute in an amiable manner are unsuccessful, you may need to take further steps to protect yourself. Sticking with the example above, purchasing a spigot lock could be a sensible next step. Home Depot sells these for about $15, so it’s not a huge expense. However, if your neighbor continues to try to access your yard despite this added layer, you may need to take further action, as his actions are a clear breach of your boundaries and unneighborly. Here are some next steps:

**1. Make sure to document everything your neighbor does that trespasses on your property and your rights. **Record the dates and times you catch them on your property. You may even want to invest in an outdoor camera to record any activity while you’re away from home. **2. Discuss the matter with your neighbor one last time before calling in reinforcements. **Explain that you don’t want to take legal action and that you’d rather have a good relationship with them. If they still refuse to be reasonable, though, you may need to contact an attorney to discuss your rights. A real estate attorney can offer advice on how to handle the situation. Sometimes a letter from a lawyer restating your intent to pursue legal action is enough of a deterrent to show them you’re serious and won’t be pushed over. **3. If necessary, contact law enforcement. **You may need to contact the police if your neighbor continues to trespass on your property despite your progressively serious warnings. According to the legal self-help website, Nolo, trespassing is considered a common misdemeanor.

Once you contact law enforcement, they’ll likely come by to investigate so be sure to show them the evidence you’ve collected over a reasonable length of time. They may issue a citation or take other action, depending on the circumstances. But at this point, you’re handing over the policing of your neighbor’s trespassing to the professionals.