Growing up, my sisters and I spent most weekends with our grandparents in Brooklyn.
The special time with my grandmother allowed me to learn lessons about love and self-worth.
My grandmother’s influence continues to shape my relationships today, even after her death.
From the age of 6 until 12, I spent every weekend with my grandmother at her apartment in Brooklyn.
At the time, my dad was living in Mexico and my mom was dealing with personal issues, so Grandma Mary tried to see me and my two younger sisters as much as possible.
Looking back, I now know that the lessons I learned during these special weekends have done so much to shape the person I’ve become.
Our weekends were special
I fondly remember my grandparents picking us up every Saturday in their yellow Chevrolet Impala, Frank Sinatra singing on the radio, and the sounds of the East River lapping against the shore as we drove from Manhattan across the Brooklyn Bridge. Our first stop was always the 86th Street Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop, which was run by my uncle at the time.
Throughout the weekend I tasted Grandma’s love in her homemade blintzes, kosher chicken, and the chocolate pudding that she proudly served in glass, leaf-shaped cups.
Whenever anyone asked who this woman was by my side during our walks around the neighborhood, I’d say, “This is my best friend, Mary.” And she was.
She praised me constantly saying things like, “Leslie, you are such a love, you are my mama shana bubbeleh!” It was a Yiddish expression meaning beloved, beautiful grandchild. Looking back, I know her adoration helped me develop an enduring sense of self-worth.
She also taught me that I was worthy of unconditional love. During the week, I couldn’t wait for Saturday morning to come because I knew that for two entire days I’d get 48 hours of affectionate hugs and hundreds of kisses on my cheeks and forehead. Her 700-square-foot, three-room apartment felt like a palace because I was safe and cherished there, and so were my sisters.
She taught me to share my feelings
Grandma Mary’s lessons about my self-worth have stuck with me into my adulthood. She taught me that I am smart, capable, and powerful. She showed me that if one person loves you unconditionally, it can offset other pains you may be feeing. Finally, she taught me to talk about my feelings, not to keep them locked inside.
I credit my grandma for part of why I was able to create a close bond with my husband and two kids. During my first years of marriage and starting a family, I struggled to communicate with my husband.
My grandma would ask me, “Do you talk to him? Do you sit down and have coffee, just the two of you, and actually talk?” Even though Mary barely finished the 7th grade, her wisdom was brilliant, and her advice was just what I needed to hear.
Grandma Mary is no longer with us, but her influence still guides my family every day. Both of my daughters have deep bonds with their grandparents, aunts, and uncles and I’m seeing how these relationships have solidified their confidence in themselves, just as my grandmother did for me.
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