NEED TO KNOW
A PhD student brought her own coffee maker to work — then a difficult coworker grew overly dependent on it
Years of passive-aggressive tension came to a head when the student considered taking the machine with her upon graduation
Now, she’s wondering if she should be “petty” and take the machine with her or choose kindness, as she has other coffee makers at home
A woman seeks advice from Reddit after finding herself at a crossroads as she prepares to leave her current job in STEM.
She’s finishing up a five-year PhD and is about to embark on an exciting new chapter in medical research, but there’s one dilemma she can’t shake: should she take her old coffee maker with her from the office when she goes?
Shutterstock / YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV
Stock photo of an office worker making coffee
She explains in her post, “Something you need to know about STEM folks is that we tend to be caffeine addicts. Coffee, tea, energy drinks, the works.” For the first three years of her program, she was the only one on her team who drank coffee, so she brought in one of her thrift store coffee makers to keep herself fueled during long days at work.
“I’m a coffee addict, so I own 2-3 coffee makers at any given time,” she shares, adding that she always keeps a backup just in case her favorite machine breaks down.
For years, she was the only one who used the office coffee maker, but everything changed in her fourth year when a new postdoctoral associate, Anne, joined the team.
“Anne is…a nice person. Friendly. The kind of person you’d take your lunch breaks with or chat with at a company outing,” she writes. But despite Anne’s pleasant demeanor, working with her proved to be challenging.
Anne’s presence quickly became overwhelming. The poster admits, “She’s always right, and my input is irrelevant (even though I’m more experienced in our field).”
The situation escalated as Anne’s social habits started interfering with work. “She will literally insert herself into my personal space, hovering around my desk until I agree to chat with her about usually total nonsense,” the woman explains, recalling a time Anne wanted to discuss dishwashers at length. The constant interruptions got so bad that she switched to a remote and hybrid work setup just to stay productive.
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Anne also turned out to be a fellow coffee lover, however. “For the first time in over 4 years, my crappy little coffee maker had a second user. And I was happy to share the machine,” she says. Anne became so reliant on the coffee maker, however, that she stopped making coffee at home. As the poster shares, “I am her source of caffeine.”
Now, as graduation approaches and the woman prepares to leave for good, she faces a moral quandary. “Would I be the a—— if I took my coffee maker with me?” she wonders.
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Stock photo of a woman working in a lab
On one hand, she acknowledges that Anne would continue to get plenty of use out of the machine, and she herself doesn’t technically need it, since her new workplace provides free coffee.
But on the other hand, Anne’s difficult behavior over the years lingers in her mind. “Anne hasn’t exactly been a great coworker. She’s made it hard for me to feel productive and intelligent in my position, and I’m petty,” she admits.
Commenters are offering helpful feedback.
Writes one, “Be a grownup. “Anne, as you know, I’m leaving on [date in the future]. I just want to make sure you’re aware that i brought the coffee maker from home, and I’m taking it with me when I leave.” Done. Fair notice, and she can get her own for $20-$30 (or, obviously, more).”
“On principle, it’s your coffeemaker. You would not be an AH to take it when you leave,” adds another. “HOWEVER, if it’s just going to sit at home and be literally unused as a 3rd backup coffeemaker, and simply take up space in your home for no reason, then you’re literally just hoarding/cluttering up your home.”
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