Does being married save money? 5 common relationship money myths, debunked
Love and money go hand in hand, but plenty of couples dodge honest money talks until tension hits. Marriage is often sold as a financial win — tax breaks, shared expenses, two paychecks — but the truth is messier. Equal earners can get hit with the “marriage penalty,” and keeping money secrets can strain even solid relationships. In this article, Vital Records Index cuts through the myths, tackling five big questions about how romance and finances mix today.
1. Does marriage actually save money? Here’s what shared costs look like
Getting married can save you money, but it’s not a sure thing. One big perk is splitting living costs. Some estimates say couples save 20%-30% on rent, utilities, and insurance just by living together and sharing the bills.
Taxes matter, too. If one partner earns a lot more, the couple might get a “marriage bonus” that cuts their tax bill by up to 21%. If both bring in similar incomes, however, they could end up paying more.
Health insurance is another potential win. Adding a spouse to a workplace plan can save over $3,000 a year compared to buying separate coverage.
Still, marriage has upfront costs. The Knot reported that the average U.S. wedding in 2024 cost around $33,000; enough to cancel out early savings if couples don’t plan wisely.
2. Is financial compatibility a must for a strong relationship?
Money fights can quietly chip away at even solid relationships. In fact, in Experian’s 2017 Credit and Divorce survey, 59% of divorced couples said finances played a part in their breakup. That doesn’t mean you need matching salaries or identical spending styles, but being on the same page helps.
Financial compatibility often comes down to a few things. Honest money talks are key. So is agreeing on big-picture goals like buying a house vs. traveling, or saving for kids vs. retiring early. Having a plan for tackling debt together — whether it’s for credit cards, student loans, or medical bills — is another sign you’re aligned.
It matters more than you might think. A LendingTree survey conducted in January 2025 found that about 23% of Americans have ended a relationship over money issues. Clear communication and shared goals won’t solve everything, but they can build the trust that keeps couples together.
3. Can couples keep things fair when one earns much more?
Big income differences don’t have to lead to tension. Plenty of couples find ways to keep things feeling fair.
Instead of splitting everything 50/50, many divide expenses based on what each person earns. If one partner brings in more, they might cover a bigger share. Others balance the scales with nonfinancial contributions—like handling childcare, cooking, or managing the day-to-day at home. The goal isn’t perfect math—it’s finding a split that feels right for both people.
While a Bankrate survey conducted in December 2024 found that 43% of U.S. couples still use only joint accounts, younger generations are moving away from that model. Just 31% of millennials go all-in on joint finances, compared to nearly half of Gen Xers and boomers. More younger couples are opting for flexible setups that mix shared responsibility with personal freedom.
4. Does financial transparency build trust?
Talking about money can feel uncomfortable, but it usually makes relationships stronger. Regular check-ins help build trust and clear up confusion before it turns into conflict. That routine creates space for honesty and joint decision-making.
Secrecy, though, is a different story. Hiding debt or spending—what some call financial infidelity—can wreck trust fast. When one person makes money moves behind the other’s back, it often leads to tension and lasting damage.
For couples who want to stay on top of shared expenses without combining everything, tools like Zeta and Honeydue help. They make it easy to stay organized and keep the money talk going, even with separate accounts.
5. What happens when someone breaks financial trust?
Financial betrayal hits hard. The most common forms include secret accounts, hidden debt, and gambling. These aren’t just money slip-ups, they’re trust breakers.
And the impact can last. People who experience financial betrayal often carry that stress with them, even if the relationship survives. It can shape how they handle money in the future, making financial decisions, conversations, and long-term planning more difficult.
But there’s hope. Talking to a financial counselor or therapist can help couples rebuild trust and create healthier money habits. Having a neutral expert in the room often makes tough conversations easier and more productive.
Why talking about money might be the most romantic move you make
Marriage can come with real financial perks, but the real win is planning ahead and being open. Couples who talk about money early, covering debt, spending habits, and long-term goals — are more likely to avoid headaches down the line.
Simple tools help: prenups, budget apps, even quarterly money check-ins. They keep things transparent and on track. But financial harmony doesn’t mean total agreement. It’s about respect, flexibility, and working as a team.
In a world where two incomes are often the norm, treating money like a shared project might just be the smartest (and sweetest) way to build a future together.
This story was produced by Vital Records Index and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.
