Carnie Wilson is opening up about her relationship with her father, the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson.
In a Wednesday, April 30 appearance on The Magnificent Others with Billy Corgan, Carnie opened up about reuniting with her father to record “Fantasy Is Reality /Bells of Madness.”
“It was the first time I was in the studio with him as an adult and he cried the whole time. He walked back and forth and cried the whole time,” Carnie, 57, recalled.
“I remember singing and he loved it and it was great. That was the beginning of the healing of our relationship and it was through music… this doesn’t surprise me,” she continued.
Related: Carnie Wilson Reveals the Real Reason Why Wilson Phillips Broke Up
Further reflecting on her dad’s impact, Carnie said she’s “so proud” of her 82-year-old father for being “the survivor he is” and his “contribution to music.”
“His contribution is so beautiful and the layers of all his music is so beautiful and what I want people to understand is he is so grateful,” she said. “He is so grateful to the people that love his music and the lives that he’s touched.”
Carnie said that she sees her father — who is under a conservatorship — around “three times a month” and they often “talk about music.”
“The good news is I can say that today, it doesn’t matter what has happened in the past,” Carnie said, adding that Brian, who overdosed in 1982, is “haunted by his past.”
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Carnie Wilson and Brian Wilson in Los Angeles in March 2015
Then, the Wilson Phillips singer opened up about her father’s trouble “expressing love” — and the learning to connect with him over the years.
“I’ve never known anybody that can live in the past and be in the present like my dad,” she said of Brian, whom she considers a “remarkable person.” “I know he loves his children and his grandchildren, but he has a problem expressing love. It’s hard for him. It scares him.”
“I have been able to connect and tap into love with him over these years and it’s been the most healing, best thing ever,” she said. “But the amount of acceptance that I’ve had to have around what I’m going to be able to receive from him is my biggest life’s lesson.”
Related: Carnie Wilson Says She Used to ‘Get Butterflies’ Around Late Beach Boy Uncle Dennis Wilson: ‘Mysterious, Sexy Man’
Brian was placed under a conservatorship following the death of his wife Melinda Ledbetter. According to court documents obtained by PEOPLE, Brian is suffering from a “neurocognitive disorder (such as dementia)” that impedes his ability to properly take care of himself.
“He’s well taken care of,” Carnie told PEOPLE in April of last year. “He’s living in so much gratitude right now that he got to tour all these years. We are a very big part of his life, helping monitor his health, helping them make sure that every day, he’s cared for.”
At the time, she was open up about her father being absent in her life growing up — and how they managed to repair their relationship.
“No one’s perfect,” Wilson said. “We’ve had a lot of healing as father, daughter, and apologies. We do the best we can. I couldn’t ask for anything more than that.”
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