Season 2 of Poker Face is in full swing on Peacock, and Charlie Cale (Natasha Lyonne) has a whole new set of mysteries to solve. In Season 2, Episode 2, “Last Looks,” Charlie gets approached by a film producer (Kevin Corrigan) who wants to rent her Plymouth Barracuda for a movie. It pays cash.
While on set at a funeral home, Charlie is cast as a corpse during a murder scene and makes friends with dissatisfied wife Greta Finch (Katie Holmes), who runs the home with her husband Fred (Giancarlo Esposito). When Greta disappears, it’s up to Charlie to find out if she really ran off like she’d planned or if she was killed before she got the chance.
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Meanwhile, Fred spends his time complaining about the movie shoot and bragging about the various things he can do with cremated human remains. In addition to conventional urns, the Finch’s offer all kinds of final resting places, from music boxes and oil paints to grandfather clocks and custom-pressed vinyl records, all made out of the dearly departed.
Alternative afterlife options for your loved one’s cremated remains
While Fred Finch might be a little too invested in transforming human remains into tchotchkes, it turns out that at least some of his afterlife offerings are available in the real world. If you’re looking for a way to memorialize a lost loved one (human or pet), you’ve got plenty of options to choose from.
Vinyl records made from cremated human remains, like in Poker Face Season 2, Episode 2
A U.K. company called And Vinyly incorporates human remains into traditional vinyl production techniques to create a musical memorial. You can add the remains of your loved one to a blank record or select their favorite songs.
First, your chosen song or songs are played through a machine which translates the music into movement. A sharpened ruby stylus engraves the vibrations of the music (or any other sounds) into a lacquer disc. That disc is then used to create a master stamp. The disc is covered in liquid silver which fills in the grooves, then the whole thing gets dipped in a nickel solution, which hardens the silver. Peel the silver away from the lacquer disk and you have your master stamp.
Next, vinyl pellets are melted into a puck of hot vinyl, placed between the master stamps, and pressed. The vinyl picks up the grooves in the process and, after trimming, you have your record. And Vinyly adds about a teaspoon of cremated remains to the vinyl puck just before pressing, fusing the remains into the finished record.
Artificial diamond made from human remains
Deep within the Earth, intense heat and pressure transform carbon into diamonds, and you can replicate the process to preserve your loved ones. There are several companies which offer this service and they all work in more or less the same way.
The process begins with about half a cup of ashes placed into a specialized graphite crucible. The human body is about 18% carbon by mass and the crucible eliminates everything but the carbon, leaving behind a graphite powder. The carbon is then placed in another machine which applies heat and pressure for extended periods, transforming the carbon into a raw diamond. Finally, it goes to a master cutter for shaping and is delivered to the survivors.
Your artificial diamond won’t take millions of years to form inside the Earth, but it’ll still take some time. Extracting the carbon takes six to eight weeks and growing the diamond takes a few months. Cutting, engraving, coloring, and setting into jewelry all take extra time. The entire process can take the better part of a year.
Cremated remains breathe life into coral reefs
Memorial reefs are a unique way of preserving the remains of your loved one while also giving back to the planet. The process starts with a premade reef ball, a semi-spherical structure punctuated with holes for fish to swim through.
At Eternal Reefs, ashes are mixed into a “pearl” centerpiece, incorporated into the reef ball, and placed on the seafloor. You can use all or some of the remains and you can even incorporate the remains of multiple people and pets into a single reef ball. The process is relatively quick, taking only four days from creation to placement.
These are only a few of options available for dealing with your loved one’s remains. From tattoo inks to fireworks displays and everything in between, no matter who you’re trying to memorialize there’s probably an option that’s perfect for sending them into the great beyond.
Catch Poker Face Season 2 streaming now on Peacock!
