Planning a wedding is already stressful enough, among finding the perfect fairytale dress, making sure all your loved ones are can make it, keeping the ceremony within budget, writing the perfect vows—the list goes on and on. Imagine having a mother-in-law who piles on more stress. One woman doesn’t have to dream up that nightmare—she’s living it, and went on to tell the tale on Reddit.
A user by the name of @_oxytoxicc shared her story on the subreddit r/wedding drama, writing up a post titled, “My (F24) fiancé’s (M27) mom refuses to attend our wedding unless it meets her standards. Is this a battle worth fighting?”
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A cake topper of a bride, groom, and mother-in-law.
The bride, who lives in Southeast Asia, explained that she and her long-distance boyfriend of two years are planning to get married next year. Her parents are supportive, but the groom’s mom isn’t, not because she dislikes the bride but because “she’s afraid the wedding won’t be grand enough and that she’ll be embarrassed.”
The bride shared that her soon-to-be mother-in-law wants a big wedding and insists that the couple invite their co-workers, which they’re uncomfortable doing because they’re in junior positions. She also told them to postpone the wedding until they’re 30 and can “afford something more extravagant,” adding that if they still can’t manage to do that in a decade, to have the wedding abroad to “avoid embarrassment.” Mind you, the mother-in-law hasn’t offered any financial support.
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A wedding set-up.
After trying to reason with her and even suggesting therapy, the mother-in-law refused to comply with the couple and said her side of the family will also be skipping their nuptials.
“This has been a recurring pattern in his family, his mother often acts as if the world revolves around her. She doesn’t take no for an answer,” the bride wrote. “She says this whole situation is stressing her out and that she’s losing sleep over it.”
The bride added that, in her culture, weddings are “family-centered,” but the groom’s parents aren’t required to be present. Even so, she says, “deep down, we both want her there.”
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A bride and groom sitting on a bench.
“I don’t want my fiancé to feel like he has to choose between me and his family,” she wrote. “My fiancé is a wonderful man and wants to marry me, with or without his mom’s blessing. But I keep wondering, is this a battle I should keep fighting, or is it something I need to let go of?”
Droves of users shared their reactions in the comments, with one writing, “So, it would be less embarrassing to miss your wedding because she’s a snob? Then let her spend the rest of her life explaining to people why she didn’t show.” Another quipped, “Repeat after me: ‘I’m sorry you feel that way,'” while a third penned, “Elope. Start your lives and enjoy them together. That’s what matters.”
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