A bride-to-be is questioning the ethics behind her fiancé’s wedding guest list criteria.
In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding” forum, the bride shared how her fiancé suggested that they should only invite friends and family who will give them wedding gifts valued at $300 or higher. Now, the woman is “feeling really conflicted” and is asking Reddit users for their perspective on the situation.
“I’m not sure how to feel,” she admitted.
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Groom and bride count money (stock photo)
For context, the bride explained that her fiancé and his family do not have a history of greediness. In fact, they’ve all been very “generous.”
At the couple’s engagement party, the groom-to-be covered “70%” of the costs and his side of the family gave them “cash gifts” even though there was no expectation. The bride’s family did not give gifts, nor did the majority of her friends.
“He was pretty disappointed by that and now seems guarded,” the Redditor recalled of her fiancé’s reaction to the low gift count.
He is also “paying for most” of their wedding expenses.
Following the party, the soon-to-be bride and groom had a conversation about their wedding guest list.
“When I told him I’d like to invite about 100 people from my side, he said we should only invite guests who would likely give at least $300 in gifts,” the bride wrote. “I told him that felt really transactional, and in the heat of the moment, I said something I regret. We haven’t spoken since.”
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Groom holding money (stock photo)
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She asked the forum: “Is it reasonable for him to feel that way? Or is this a red flag?”
Fellow Reddit users had mixed reactions in the comments section.
Some Redditors noted that only inviting well-off guests was “definitely transactional,” and that the groom “sounds greedy,” with his suggestion being a “massive red flag.”
“I would think if he expects guests to supplement what he’s putting into the wedding that maybe you guys should scale back to a level he feels more comfortable spending,” the top comment reads. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this uncomfortable situation.”
A few Redditors advised the bride to reevaluate her relationship moving forward.
“Getting married is a celebration of your life together. It is a chance to thank all of the people who have helped you along the way and that you love. I cannot imagine marrying someone who is this transactional and cruel. Not everyone can afford that level of gift,” one person wrote. “Sorry, but I honestly think this is a great opportunity to reevaluate the relationship and determine if this is genuinely someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.”
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