Good news, rose lovers! ABC is treating us to FIVE hours of Bachelor in Paradise this week, as tonight’s three-hour episode will be followed by a normal two-hour episode on Tuesday. Wait, did I say, “good news”? I meant, “Why is this network trying to kill us?”
Here’s one bright spot: Tonight’s episode unveiled the brand-new intro, set to an ”upgraded” version of “Almost Paradise.” Plus, it let the crew get in on the action:
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A crew member poses on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
Anyhow, the men handed out the roses this week, which means the beach was infiltrated with new women. So, which couples survived and which new ones formed? Let’s recap!
Brian dumps Zoe for Parisa
File under: “Developments We Saw Coming 10,000 Miles Away.” Brian immediately starts ignoring Zoe the morning after she gave him a rose, and he is one of the first on the beach to greet new arrivals Alli Jo, 31, and Parisa, 30, both from Grant’s season. Though Zoe tries to keep the newcomers at bay (“Don’t take my man!” she warned), her efforts are in vain thanks to the first “chemistry test”: Using an iPad, contestants choose which members of the opposite sex they want to smooch. The contestants who match get to visit a “kissing booth” on the beach and keep the whole thing anonymous. “I swiped right on everybody,” admits Brian. “I don’t give a s—.”
Clearly. After giving Zoe a “passionate” kiss during the chemistry test — and pretending that she was the only one he chose to kiss! — Brian plants one on Parisa and later accepts a date from her. Flash forward:
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Brian gives Parisa a rose on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
Sorry, Zoe — but you dodged a bullet, girl.
Jonathon sticks with Alexe
He clicked “yes” on pretty much everyone during the chemistry test, and matched with four: Alexe, Alli Jo, Parisa, and Bailey. Though his interaction with Alexe is initially “awkward,” Jonathan ultimately dubs her the best kisser. That said, he accepts a date from Alli Jo — which means Alexe goes from this…
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Alexe is feeling fine on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
…to this:
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Alexe is on the edge on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
Glad to see Paradise’s new “elevated” tone doesn’t apply to the snarky captions. Jonathon and Alli Jo seem to have fun on their date, but they can’t match the goofy-cute chemistry he has with Alexe. And when Jonathon says yes to a date with Jill, 29 — who arrives about an hour into the episode — he essentially friend-zones her from the start.
Counterpoint: Alexe admitted in a confessional that she’s “not feeling that pull towards him,” and bartender Wells Adams says he’s not sure he sees a romantic connection there. For now, though, these two are solid.
Jeremy sticks with Bailey
“I swiped right on four girls,” admits Jeremy ahead of the chemistry test. Alas, he only matches with Bailey. As much as he wants to keep his options open, most of the other women are not interested.
The only nibble Jeremy gets is from Justin’s ex, Susie, 31, who arrives this week and asks him on a date. But she doesn’t seem too excited about it it. “Jeremy’s my best bet to possibly have a connection here,” she explains. “I’m hoping there might be a spark.” If there is, it’s invisible to the naked eye — but Jeremy is torn between them up until the rose ceremony. He admits to Bailey that he’s been hurt in the past after going “all in” on a relationship too quickly, and he’s trying to avoid that this time around. Maybe… but I think the caption writers summed it up better:
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Jeremy is unusually popular on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
LOL, brutal. Ultimately, Jeremy chooses to stay with Bailey, which sets up Justin’s big (attempted) sacrifice. (More on that below.)
Dale sticks with Kat
Despite smooching Alexe, Alli Jo, and Zoe during the kissing challenge, Dale claims to be totally smitten with Kat. When Zoe tries to strike up a conversation with him later in the episode, Dale politely shuts it down: “Kat is my focus right now.” Are you sure, bro? Then explain this:
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Dale smooches Alli Jo on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
You know the challenge is over, right? Dale still feels like he’s “at a crossroads” by the time the evening rolls around. But a fleeting moment during the cocktail party — when he glanced over at Kat and got “lost” in her beauty — makes the decision for him.
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Dale gives Kat a rose on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
Spencer sticks with Jess
These two are very cute. Unlike most of the other men, Spencer didn’t choose to smooch any other women during the chemistry test — and he was rewarded with a very steamy kiss with Jess, who also rejected everyone else.
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Jess and Spencer smooch on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
“Sorry to my family and my boss that’s watching,” giggled Jess. For the rest of the episode, they just hung out together being all lovey-dovey.
Justin tries (and fails) to sacrifice himself for Susie
“I’m a one-woman type of guy,” explains Justin before the chemistry test. Of course, that was before Lexi told him she “can’t move forward with a [romantic] connection,” because she fears he’s not over his ex, Susie. And that was also before Susie showed up on the beach. Say it with me, rose lovers: The devil works hard, but Bachelor producers work harder!
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Susie interrupts Justin’s flow on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
When Susie and Justin sit down together, they immediately get emotional. The last time they saw each other, says Justin, they were returning belongings like spare keys — so being together again is, in Susie’s words, a bit overwhelming. “It’s hard to be here with him,” she says. “There are going to be unresolved feelings.”
Even so, later she assures Lexi that both she and Justin are ready to move on. This completely changes Lexi’s perspective, and during the cocktail party, she tries to convince him that she wants to pursue a relationship with him. Everything seems to be back on track, but when Justin chats with Susie that night, he realizes how guilty he’ll feel if he stays on the beach and she goes home. Cut to:
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Susie would like to be excluded from this narrative on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
Great question, girl!
An upset and confused Susie tells Justin that she can’t accept his rose. Shortly after, he walks off set, leaving everyone — most of all Lexi — completely befuddled. Eventually Lexi walks off too, brushing off host Jesse Palmer’s attempt to keep her on site. “This is ridiculous,” she huffs. “It’s fine, I’m just ready to go home.” Will Lexi join Alli Jo, Jill, Zoe, and (maybe) Susie and Justin on the first flight out of Costa Rica? We’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to find out.
Bachelor in Paradise episode 3 airs Tuesday, July 15, at 8 p.m. PT/ET on ABC.
Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly