We’ve all heard the term “fashionably late” when it comes to social functions. No one wants to arrive at a gathering too early and hover anxiously around the host, or interrupt them as they put the final touches on the decor. But when it comes to arriving late to a party, it can be difficult to discern what an acceptable arrival time is. Should you follow the start time listed on your invitation as closely as possible, or hold off until more people have arrived?
Although every party host’s expectations are bound to be different, etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts of Golden Rules Gal warns that it’s often better to be safe than sorry when it comes to planning your arrival time. As she puts it, being too “fashionably late” isn’t an indicator of your busy social life. Instead, it’s often plain disruptive.
“Arriving late to a party isn’t a grand entrance,” Grotts says. “It’s a gamble, impolite and poor timing.”
Still, you might find yourself wondering what a good rule of thumb is for event timing. At what point should you notify the host that you’ll be late? If you insist on being fashionably late, exactly how late can you be without being rude? And what’s the ideal arrival time to aim for in the first place?
Below, an etiquette expert answers all the questions you might have about party arrival timing.
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How Early Is Too Early?
As a rule of thumb, it’s better to arrive early and wait for the party’s official start time than to show up long after your fellow guests have already made themselves comfortable. That being said, it’s best to avoid showing up before the host has said the party will start unless you’ve been specifically invited to do so.
“A good guest honors the host’s rhythm, not their own watch,” Grotts says. “If you must, drive around the block until the set time.”
What Arrival Time Should You Shoot For?
If you’re aiming to be on your best behavior, being as punctual as possible is key.
“There’s a fine line between fashionably late and rudely disruptive,” Grotts notes. “Respect the invitation as much as you’d want your own time to be respected.”
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What Does ‘Fashionably Late’ Actually Mean?
Your “fashionably late” window depends on the exact event you’re going to. For instance, Evite professionals note that guests at gatherings like dinner parties should arrive within 15 minutes of the stated start time, while the arrival time for larger parties or New Year’s gatherings is more flexible. However, when in doubt, Grotts recommends showing up slightly earlier than you think just to be safe.
“Remember it this way: Behave a little better than what is asked of you,” she says. “To be fashionably late should be stylishly timed, not selfishly timed.”
How Late Is Too Late?
Grotts recommends letting your host know if you’ll be more than 30 minutes late to the party, since “anything beyond that is inconsiderate.”
When in doubt, she says, “reply early, arrive graciously.”
“One of my favorite memes [is]: An invite is a gift,” Grotts adds .”Responding on time is how you unwrap it!”
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Lisa Mirza Grotts, of Golden Rules Gal
