A groom is asking the Reddit community for feedback after his brother stopped speaking to him when he didn’t invite his girlfriend to his wedding
The groom and his bride are paying for the wedding themselves and want to keep the guest list small and “intimate,” so they are only extending plus-one invites to “long-term spouses or partners”
Commenters were divided on whether the groom was in the wrong or not
One groom is at odds with his brother due to his small wedding guest list.
The 30-year-old man shared his dilemma in a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, asking community members if he was in the wrong for not inviting his brother’s girlfriend of six months to his fall wedding.
Posting about his “small, intimate wedding” of around 40 people on the forum, the groom shared that he and his 28-year-old bride are paying for the wedding themselves and have kept the guest list to “mostly close family and lifelong friends.”
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The groom’s older brother, 33, has been dating his girlfriend for six months, and the poster noted that he’s “met her a few times.”
He said “she seems nice enough,” but added, “We’re not close and honestly, I don’t know her well at all.”
The future newlyweds made a firm guest list rule that they are only including plus-ones on the invite list who are “long-term partners or spouses,” with the groom noting that he’s not leting his best friend bring his girlfriend of seven months.
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Two brothers arguing (stock image)
“When I told my brother, he was clearly annoyed,” the groom said. “He said it was disrespectful not to include his girlfriend, and that six months is a ‘real relationship.’ He also pointed out that she’s never done anything wrong to us, and it would mean a lot to him to have her there.”
Despite the groom telling his brother that the decision “wasn’t personal,” he said that his brother “hasn’t responded since” and now his mom has texted him asking him to “be the bigger person” and “avoid unnecessary drama.”
The groom pointed out that he doesn’t “want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I also feel like we set a clear boundary and are sticking to it.”
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Commenters were divided on the topic, with more than 500 people weighing in with their differing takes.
“NTA [not the a——]. We didn’t have this rule, both my siblings brought plus ones. They were in the family photos etc … neither were together with their partners 6 months later,” one commenter wrote, adding, “It’s your wedding, your choice. Tell your mum she should instruct your brother to be the bigger person and to be happy for you on your wedding day, not lamenting the fact his [six-month] relationship doesn’t count and tattling to her.”
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Two brothers arguing (stock image)
Another commenter agreed, saying, “Your brother will survive without her.”
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However, not everyone had the same take on the situation.
“How can anyone with a functioning family say it’s okay not to invite your brother’s partner? That’s just straight up disrespectful, man,” one person wrote.
Another commenter said, “I’d invite her. She’s not the same as your bestie’s date, because she’s possibly also going to marry into your family, and you refusing to invite her to your wedding is a bad note to start on.”
And while another commenter said they wouldn’t go so far as to say YTA [you’re the a——], they did note, “I personally let my two sisters bring their boyfriends to my wedding (I was the first sibling to get married) and then we just didn’t have them in the pictures. It was a simple solution, nobody had hurt feelings, it was 2 extra people so it didn’t cost too much.”
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