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A woman shared on Reddit that her husband’s sister wants to have her wedding in the couple’s backyard and initially proposed a small ceremony with just four guests as witnesses
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Since then, the guest list has swelled to 20-plus people, and the Redditor is not comfortable with the idea of having that many people at her house
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She said her husband is mad that she’s not onboard with the plan and is “making me out to seem like a bad person”
A woman sparked a disagreement with her husband after insisting that she doesn’t want his sister to have her wedding in their backyard.
She detailed the dilemma in a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, explaining that when she initially agreed to the idea, the plan was that the ceremony would be small and casual.
“My SIL asked me a week ago if she could get married in my backyard that only included 4 witnesses and was intended to be a small, 10-minute ceremony with no reception,” she wrote.
But it seems the situation has quickly changed.
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“Well now, her fiancé has 20-plus people coming from out of state who I have never met before. The number keeps growing by the day,” the poster said. “I’ve told my husband that I am now not comfortable with having that many people at my house and that the script was flipped on me.”
The poster said she even believed that her sister-in-law would be “extremely understanding” about her discomfort regarding the backyard wedding and “would be happy to find another free outdoor space.”
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Backyard wedding (stock image)
It’s her husband who is unhappy about her refusal to allow the wedding to take place at their home. She said he is “making me out to seem like a bad person” and “arguing semantics with me ‘what’s the difference between 5, 10, 15 and now 20? I need to know the why?’ “
As the poster explained, “I’ve told him several times that I don’t need to explain myself more when it’s also my house. I felt like I was being very accommodating with the initial request, as that’s something I would naturally not jump all over to offer.”
Now, she is asking fellow Reddit users if she is wrong to say no to the backyard wedding in light of “the new conditions.”
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In the comments section, many people agreed with the poster’s perspective, pointing out that more people means more logistical challenges.
PeopleImages/Getty
Upset couple (stock image)
“The difference is the amount of logistics — food, beverages, parking places, tent/protection from the elements, chairs, flowers, tables/display for gifts and cake, a bathroom for all these people to use,” one reader wrote. “Sounds like this is growing beyond a ‘small wedding at home’ to a big event that requires more infrastructure.”
Another agreed, writing, “There’s a BIG difference between 5 and 20-plus people.”
Yet another chimed in: “Having 20+ strangers wandering around my house, traipsing in and out to use the bathroom, isn’t something I’d be comfortable with.”
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Others worried that the scale of the event would only continue to grow, with one even suggesting that the backyard wedding situation was “a bait and switch that could only get worse.”
One Redditor accused the poster’s husband of being “purposefully obtuse” about the guest numbers.
“Make your husband explain how he is going to accommodate 20-plus people with however many bathrooms you guys have, food, drinks, and cleaning before and after the event,” they suggested. “If he fights you on this, I would make sure to be gone a few days before and after this wedding and insist that the house be spotless when you return.”
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