A Reddit user in “Am I the A——?”forum brought her own food to her boyfriend’s family dinner after they failed to accommodate her allergies
Her boyfriend and his family were offended, despite them knowing about her dietary restrictions
Reddit commenters supported the woman, critiquing the boyfriend’s family for not being respectful of her allergies
Is it rude to bring your own meal if you have food allergies?
A Reddit poster, 28, was invited to her boyfriend of one year’s family dinner, she wrote in the popular forum, “Am I the A——?” She reminded her boyfriend’s mother that she is allergic to gluten, dairy and shellfish. The boyfriend’s mother replied, “ Don’t worry, we’ll have something for you!”
Despite this conversation and previous meals together, the Redditor didn’t have anything to eat at the meal. “When I got there, everything had at least one ingredient I couldn’t eat. I didn’t want to make a fuss or go hungry, so I discreetly pulled out a Tupperware meal I made at home and started eating it,” she wrote.
She continued, “My boyfriend’s mom looked offended and said I was being disrespectful and that I didn’t trust her cooking. Later my boyfriend told me I embarrassed him and should’ve just ‘eaten around’ the allergens to keep the peace.”
Related: Trader Joe’s Recalls a Popular Pre-Packed Item in 17 States Due to ‘Undeclared Allergen’
The user wrote in the comments that this has happened before. “My boyfriend’s family is one of those old-fashioned families who believe that getting sick two or three times will make you strong enough to not get sick again in the future. I should rethink my ways of dealing with situations or my relationships,” she commented. She also wrote that her boyfriend told her she was “overreacting because none of [her] allergies were life-threatening.”
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Commenters were adamant that the poster’s boyfriend and family were in the wrong. “Your BF has no idea how allergies work if he thinks you can eat around them,” someone wrote and another person explained how a vegetarian friend once gave her a useful piece of advice. “She said ‘if you stir s— in a pot but then take it out, does the food still have s— in it?”. I imagine the same line works for allergens.”
Many people wrote that her boyfriend and his mother didn’t respect the Redditor’s health. “I hate when people understand ‘I am allergic’ as ‘I dislike’, one can be life threatening, it is not a matter to take lightly,” one person said.
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