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Love is patient, love is kind, but sometimes…sometimes, love also requires a litttttle bit of creativity to help things run smoothly. Which is why when TikTok user michellerosbury posted asking people for their most “unhinged marriage hacks,” the answers did not disappoint.So, without further ado, here are 21 “unhinged marriage hacks” for you to have and to hold from this day forward and implement as you best see fit:1. “I tell him made-up stories about things my ‘friend’s husband’ did and finish with, ‘I’m so glad you don’t do that.’ But they’re actually all things he does that I don’t like. He self-corrects.”2. “I occasionally buy gift cards, so every time he doesn’t want to go out to eat, I say, ‘Oh, we have a gift card from Christmas!’ Works every time.”3. “I wore the same perfume every time we would go to the mall, so now anytime I put it on, he asks if I want to go shopping.”4. And another use-case for the perfume trick, “I Pavloved my husband by wearing the same scent only during intimacy for a year. Then I wore it to a family function, and he became feral. He glares at me when I wear it because he knows. Still works.”5. “When he asks me to find something he ‘can’t find’ but it’s in plain sight (and he just didn’t look hard enough), I charge him a book. I now have four shelves of books.”6. “I jokingly say things like, ‘The dishes need doing, and you need doing. I only have energy for one of these things.’ He does the dishes in record time.”7. “I will out loud just ‘booooooo’ him when he’s not being nice, helpful, or acting right.”8. “My great-grandma would flip over their ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign when they were fighting over something.”9. “I make his lunches and dinner. Sometimes, if I’m mad, I’ll purposely make it a little off and tell him I made it with anger instead of love. Somehow, it works.”10. “When we brought home our newborn, we started playing finger guns at each other instead of arguing out loud. When he snores now, I roll over and hold a finger gun to his neck. He goes, ‘Please don’t do it.’ 😂”11. “Sometimes, my husband and I randomly pretend not to know each other and start flirting. He could be mowing the lawn and I’ll walk out and say, ‘What are you doing here? You know my husband isn’t home.’ He knows to play along.”12. “When he stops pulling his weight in house chores, I stop cleaning or preparing all his things including his laundry, meals, and dishes. I’m a mom, but not his mom. He catches on quickly.”13. “I’m introverted and my husband is a TALKER. So early on, I instituted ‘quiet time’, which I can evoke at ANY time, and he has to comply. We literally go about our day together. Just silently. And it’s been 8 years of bliss.”14. “When we are planning to make a big purchase, I first show him the most expensive thing and let him marinate. Then, show him the one I really want, which is cheaper but not the cheapest. Works every time.”15. “Rather than get mad at the other for not doing that thing you expect for them to just know to do (dishes, for example) we place a stuffed elephant by the thing to point out ‘the elephant in the room.’”16. “My husband and I refer to our innermost illogical thoughts as ‘lizard brain,’ so we can share insecurities without judgment. For example, I might say, ‘Lizard brain says you hate my haircut.’”17. “We have a decision coin that says ‘Wife’s Choice’ on one side and ‘Husband’s Choice’ on the other. Flipping it has helped us decide so much from where to go on vacation to what to have for dinner that night. It’s very helpful.”18. “When we think the other person’s driving is a little dicey, we yell ‘whee’ in the car. It conveys, ‘It’s an adventure, but also, we feel like we were gonna die. Please be careful.’”19. “We wear party hats during arguments. How can you possibly argue badly with party hats on?”20. “I like to say, ‘You know what I love about you?’ and list what I want him to be like. He believes he suddenly has these qualities and starts to build on them without question. It’s magic.”21. And lastly, “I divorced him so he knows I mean business (we remarried).”
Love is patient, love is kind, but sometimes…sometimes, love also requires a litttttle bit of creativity to help things run smoothly. Which is why when TikTok user michellerosbury posted asking people for their most “unhinged marriage hacks,” the answers did not disappoint.
So, without further ado, here are 21 “unhinged marriage hacks” for you to have and to hold from this day forward and implement as you best see fit:
1. “I tell him made-up stories about things my ‘friend’s husband’ did and finish with, ‘I’m so glad you don’t do that.’ But they’re actually all things he does that I don’t like. He self-corrects.”
—mrsbmasters
2. “I occasionally buy gift cards, so every time he doesn’t want to go out to eat, I say, ‘Oh, we have a gift card from Christmas!’ Works every time.”
—shelbyhines2
3. “I wore the same perfume every time we would go to the mall, so now anytime I put it on, he asks if I want to go shopping.”
—alyssaa_gracee
4. And another use-case for the perfume trick, “I Pavloved my husband by wearing the same scent only during intimacy for a year. Then I wore it to a family function, and he became feral. He glares at me when I wear it because he knows. Still works.”
—kellyn1604
5. “When he asks me to find something he ‘can’t find’ but it’s in plain sight (and he just didn’t look hard enough), I charge him a book. I now have four shelves of books.”
Iuliia Burmistrova via Getty Images” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/pFM6RMTG9KfrwjJay2DnHg–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD0xODYz/https://media.zenfs.com/en/aol_huffpost_life_us_909/3816cc5af8f4780d595d8b77595e70a7>
—ablondebookishgirl
6. “I jokingly say things like, ‘The dishes need doing, and you need doing. I only have energy for one of these things.’ He does the dishes in record time.”
—angelicahartman
7. “I will out loud just ‘booooooo’ him when he’s not being nice, helpful, or acting right.”
—ghostbeauster
8. “My great-grandma would flip over their ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign when they were fighting over something.”
—katie_resendizzz
9. “I make his lunches and dinner. Sometimes, if I’m mad, I’ll purposely make it a little off and tell him I made it with anger instead of love. Somehow, it works.”
—delaneyperez08
Similarly, “When he makes me mad, I make his favorite meal, but I add mushrooms because he hates them.”
—yulettttttaaa
10. “When we brought home our newborn, we started playing finger guns at each other instead of arguing out loud. When he snores now, I roll over and hold a finger gun to his neck. He goes, ‘Please don’t do it.’ 😂”
—thelifeofjordann
11. “Sometimes, my husband and I randomly pretend not to know each other and start flirting. He could be mowing the lawn and I’ll walk out and say, ‘What are you doing here? You know my husband isn’t home.’ He knows to play along.”
—juliaa_willis
12. “When he stops pulling his weight in house chores, I stop cleaning or preparing all his things including his laundry, meals, and dishes. I’m a mom, but not his mom. He catches on quickly.”
Darya Komarova via Getty Images” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/vF8J.LHiSBGdectkYRjEJg–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/aol_huffpost_life_us_909/068a97ede65b8f50f83ce90a225a0eae>
—nika.k.smith
13. “I’m introverted and my husband is a TALKER. So early on, I instituted ‘quiet time’, which I can evoke at ANY time, and he has to comply. We literally go about our day together. Just silently. And it’s been 8 years of bliss.”
—oliviamhart
14. “When we are planning to make a big purchase, I first show him the most expensive thing and let him marinate. Then, show him the one I really want, which is cheaper but not the cheapest. Works every time.”
—reindropcreates
15. “Rather than get mad at the other for not doing that thing you expect for them to just know to do (dishes, for example) we place a stuffed elephant by the thing to point out ‘the elephant in the room.’”
Rebecca Smith via Getty Images” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Lr9RRtcvRXk5VDtTgjrp9A–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD0xODcx/https://media.zenfs.com/en/aol_huffpost_life_us_909/1e2287c12432782c6532b580d143cc05>
—sambee427
16. “My husband and I refer to our innermost illogical thoughts as ‘lizard brain,’ so we can share insecurities without judgment. For example, I might say, ‘Lizard brain says you hate my haircut.’”
—medusafan
17. “We have a decision coin that says ‘Wife’s Choice’ on one side and ‘Husband’s Choice’ on the other. Flipping it has helped us decide so much from where to go on vacation to what to have for dinner that night. It’s very helpful.”
—done_with_the_usurpation
18. “When we think the other person’s driving is a little dicey, we yell ‘whee’ in the car. It conveys, ‘It’s an adventure, but also, we feel like we were gonna die. Please be careful.’”
—sophiegirl8888
19. “We wear party hats during arguments. How can you possibly argue badly with party hats on?”
Catherine Falls Commercial via Getty Images” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/NHBqc3pVBapJXaSPVuJieA–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD0xMzMx/https://media.zenfs.com/en/aol_huffpost_life_us_909/f3600fc6e429aba3033cdb71ba531120>
—lynnnnnnmi
20. “I like to say, ‘You know what I love about you?’ and list what I want him to be like. He believes he suddenly has these qualities and starts to build on them without question. It’s magic.”
—jill_kill0
21. And lastly, “I divorced him so he knows I mean business (we remarried).”
—savanna.alley
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
