NEED TO KNOW
A woman says she’s often left out of group activities by her boyfriend
Tensions rise after she finds out he made plans with friends without including her
Commenters warn that the pattern may reveal bigger problems in the relationship
A woman turns to Reddit for support following her boyfriend’s decision to leave her out of a trip with their mutual friends. She says this isn’t the first time she has been excluded from important events or activities, and it has left her questioning the relationship.
“We’ve always had the same argument about me being left out of activities,” she explains. According to her, her boyfriend often refuses to invite her to dinners with mutual friends or hobbies she’s been asking to try.
She says there is usually “some convincing reason why he forgot to include me and I let it go, until recently.” The breaking point came after discovering that he agreed to attend a long-anticipated trip with their friend group but told everyone she wouldn’t be coming.
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Stock photo of a couple on vacation
The couple has been part of a coed friend group that has dreamed of a special group trip for the past year. “Last week I found out he confirmed going on a group trip with our mutual friends and told them I couldn’t attend, without even asking me,” she says.
She shares that her boyfriend told their friends she would be too busy with her new job to take off four days. “I actually managed to get vacation time approved but when I excitedly told him he shut me down saying that everyone had already booked flights and there wouldn’t be any more space in the rental house,” she writes.
She pressed further, asking why he had declined on her behalf. “When I asked why he left me out he said he figured I couldn’t go anyway with work and declined on my behalf,” she recalls.
The poster eventually reached out to the host herself and was surprised by what she heard. “She was very upset with him, the group had multiple conversations about how they would miss me if I couldn’t be there but he assured them I couldn’t go,” the woman explains.
The host admitted that she had to fill the open spots in the house because of cost, but the woman says it left her heartbroken. “I understood where she was coming from but I’m devastated. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a year,” she shares.
The situation also feels unusual since the trip is meant for couples. “It’s also weird seeing as how it’s a couples trip and he will be the only one solo. I don’t understand why he would want to go on a couples trip without me?” she writes.
When she confronted him about it, he didn’t have clear answers. “He seemed sorry and said he didn’t intentionally leave me out. He said it must be a misunderstanding,” she explains.
But this wasn’t the only time she felt excluded. The woman says her boyfriend also joined a fantasy football league with their friend group without including her, even though she had been vocal about wanting to join.
“Recently he also joined a fantasy football league with our co-ed friend group and didn’t invite me,” she says. “I’ve been asking since last year to play in the league and how fun it would be.”
She says the exclusion stung even more because “all the women participate with their husbands.” By the time she learned the league was full, there was no chance of joining, and she says he never even told the group she was interested.
“This was the breaking point for me,” she admits. “I broke down in tears asking why I’m being excluded from the trip and now the league.”
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Stock photo of a woman worried
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She says his reaction left her even more confused. “He yelled that we don’t need to be glued to each other 24/7 and that I need to get a life,” she recalls.
According to her, he accused her of bringing the issue up too much and told her she needed to “let it go.” Things have grown tense between them, and she says, “We are now sleeping in separate rooms.”
On Reddit, commenters didn’t hold back their thoughts about the situation. One person writes, “NTA He wants you to be the one to formally end the relationship. He has already broken up with you in his mind, he just hasn’t said it out loud yet.”
Another commenter points out the troubling pattern. “Honestly, I’d be questioning why he doesn’t want you included. This pattern doesn’t look like a misunderstanding. It looks intentional.”
Read the original article on People
