Delivering a toast at a wedding is an honor—but, alas, an intimidating one. Plan ahead to lessen the pressure. With some forethought, everything can go smoothly, and you’ll spend the rest of the wedding proud of your meaningful moment.
“There’s no magic format that will work for every speaker,” says professional speech writer Holly Blum. That being said, “there are a variety of mistakes people tend to make when giving a wedding toast,” she shares.
Read on for tips on how to avoid these common wedding toast mistakes.
Meet the Expert
Holly Blum, professional special occasion speech writer, owner of A Speech To Remember
Related: Martha’s Best Wedding Advice for the Ultimate Big Day
01 of 10
Don’t Overstay Your Welcome
Hannah Duffy Photography
“Wedding toasts should be three to five minutes max,” urges Blum. “The goal is to leave the audience wanting more, not less.” Time yourself while practicing. “If you’re going over five minutes, it’s time to trim and cut,” Blum says.
02 of 10
Don’t Write a Stand-Up Set
Stephanie Bassos Photography
Stories and anecdotes that you and your friend find humorous in private may be embarrassing or inappropriate at such a formal, special event. “Nobody wants to hear about the time you and the bride or groom had that wild night in college,” says Blum. “My rule is that if you’re not comfortable having your grandmother hear it, leave it out of the speech altogether.”
03 of 10
Don’t Make the Toast About You
It goes without saying, but the toasts should be about the couple getting married—not those giving them. “If you catch yourself starting more sentences than not with the word I, it’s time to go back to the drawing board,” says Blum. “This isn’t the time or the place to share your life story because it’s not your day.”
Using the moment to announce a personal milestone, like your own engagement, is also obviously a major misstep.
04 of 10
Don’t Generalize
Apryl Ann Photography
“People tend to go heavy on descriptive adjectives,” says Blum, who’s heard superfluous modifiers and attributes like “caring,” “wonderful,” “fantastic,” “sensational,” and “loyal” all too often.
“The main problem with using a laundry list of positive adjectives is that you could be talking about anyone,” Blume explains. “Instead, think about the anecdotes or stories you can use to show how the bride or groom is caring, wonderful, fantastic, sensational, or loyal. Using specific examples … is going to be a lot more impactful.”
05 of 10
Don’t Forget to Practice
The age-old adage hangs true. “The best thing you can do as a speaker is to practice,” says Blum. “That means reading the speech aloud again and again until you develop a fluency with the speech.” Read the toast in front of a mirror, record yourself using your phone and a tripod, or practice in front of a close friend or family member.
“The goal is that it sounds like a polished conversation, not a formal presentation. To achieve that, you have to put in the work,” Blum explains. “Working ahead of time will reduce stress and give you enough time to tweak and rehearse the finished product so that your words are remembered for all the right reasons.”
06 of 10
Don’t Overindulge
Aga Jones Photography
“Refrain from drinking alcohol before delivering your speech,” urges Blum. “Many people think a drink or two will help you loosen them up, but it usually has the opposite effect.” A sloppy speech isn’t worth the risk. Reward yourself with a bevy afterwards.
07 of 10
Don’t Get Tripped Up on a Mistake
Avoid calling attention to mistakes—they won’t be remembered unless you make a big deal out of them. Likely, no one will notice you missed a line or flubbed a word in the first place.
“If you do happen to make a mistake, just keep going,” says Blum. “Unless it’s factually incorrect or makes zero sense, when you go back and correct what you said, you wind up drawing more attention to the fact that you made a mistake.”
Related: Father of the Bride Speeches That Knocked It Out of the Park
08 of 10
Don’t Read Off Your Device
Johnny Cirillo
Skip the iPhone speech and offer a better photo opp. Blum recommends printing out your speech on a nice sheet of cardstock. “When you see the photos afterward, you’re going to look a lot more sophisticated holding a piece of paper than looking down at your phone,” she says. “There’s still something more elegant and timeless about paper for a speech.”
09 of 10
Don’t Rely on Talking Points
According to Blum, every good speech should have a definite structure, flowing clearly from beginning to middle to end, with thoughtful transitions throughout. “The challenge with talking points is that speakers—especially nervous ones—may go off track, either running too long or not sounding polished enough,” says Blum.
10 of 10
Don’t Forget to Be Yourself
Kristin LaVoie
The reason you’re giving a toast at such a momentous occasion is because you’re you. “My biggest piece of advice is to be yourself,” shares Blum. “Your speech should reflect who you are as a person. If you’re funny or witty, make sure that your speech is too. If you’re a person of few words, make your speech short and to the point.”
Read the original article on Martha Stewart
