NEED TO KNOW
-
A woman was left without a meal during dinner at her boyfriend’s dad’s house, despite being a known pescatarian
-
Her boyfriend made no effort to ensure there was food she could eat, serving only meat and a combination pizza
-
She turned to Reddit to ask if she was overreacting after feeling hungry, excluded and emotionally drained
A woman turned to the Reddit community for advice following an uncomfortable and upsetting dinner with her boyfriend’s family that left her hungry, emotional and questioning whether she was overreacting.
The 21-year-old explains in her post that she’s been in a relationship with her 22-year-old boyfriend for almost two years and has been pescatarian for over a year — a detail his family is fully aware of.
“His family knows I don’t eat meat,” she writes, setting the stage for a situation that quickly spirals into an evening of discomfort. What started as a fun celebration for his grandmother’s birthday turned into an unexpected detour that left her feeling ignored and hurt.
Getty
Stock photo of a woman upset at a dinner party
At the party for his grandmother, she shares, “They had brisket and sides, so I just had fruit and veggies—totally fine since it was a big party and I’d had a smoothie beforehand.”
Later, after receiving a text that the pool at her boyfriend’s dad’s house was open, the couple changed their plans and headed there instead of returning to her grandparents’ house, where tacos were already being prepared for them.
https://people-app.onelink.me/HNIa/kz7l4cuf
That decision, she explains, set off a chain of events she wasn’t prepared for. “My clothes got soaked,” she says, “so I’m in his oversized shorts and shirt. I’m also on my period, stressed, and haven’t had a real meal in hours.”
When they arrive at the dad’s house, the family decides on burgers and pizza for dinner. Her boyfriend is in charge of the pizza, and she naturally assumes he’ll make one she can eat. “I assumed he’d make a cheese one. Nope—it’s a combination pizza,” she writes. The rest of the food, which includes burgers and hot dogs, is also off-limits for her.
Despite clearly being left out of the meal planning, no one seems to notice or address it. “Nobody asked me what I wanted,” she says. When someone did offer her a burger earlier in the evening and she declined, they didn’t follow up with an alternative or check in on her again.
Feeling visibly upset, she steps outside with her boyfriend for a quick talk. “I asked him, ‘So were you just expecting me to sit here and watch everyone else eat in silence?’ ” she recalls. But instead of recognizing her frustration, he brushes it off, saying, “It’s fine, I’ll just eat and then we can leave and go to your house.”
That response only deepens her hurt. “We had plans that would have involved both of us eating,” she notes, “and I would never do that to him at my house.” Feeling physically and emotionally drained, she retreats to the bathroom where she tears up in private.
“When I came back, everyone else had food, and I was just sitting there with nothing,” she writes. Her boyfriend hands her a small side cup of waffle fries — “like 6 fries” — but when she says she doesn’t want them, he eats them himself. “It honestly just shocked me that no one in his family noticed or offered me anything.”
She reflects on how differently her own family would have treated her boyfriend in a similar scenario. “My grandparents would never let my boyfriend sit there without a meal—ever.” The contrast only adds to her disappointment and feelings of isolation during the evening.
After sharing her story, she adds more context in a follow-up post, clarifying that the pizza in question was frozen, not homemade. “There really wasn’t much he could do about it in that moment,” she explains. Still, she believes the way he handled the situation was hurtful.
Getty
Stock photo of a man making a pizza
“I feel he went wrong by not telling me right away that there wasn’t really anything for me to eat,” she writes. “I kind of had to figure it out on my own.” She also didn’t realize the pizza was a combination one until it was nearly finished preheating.
She acknowledges that, in hindsight, she could have brought food, but she was unprepared for the change in plans. “I didn’t even know we were going to his dad’s house,” she shares. “I thought we’d be going to my grandparents’ house… so I wasn’t prepared.”
Despite the disappointment, she tries to look at the situation with balance. “I think we were both a little in the wrong—it was just a sucky, awkward situation overall.” They’ve since talked things through, and while she doesn’t plan to hold it against him forever, she still sees it as a moment of inconsideration.
Some commenters suggest that personal responsibility goes a long way. One user writes, “You have to look out for yourself. Eat beforehand, bring your own food, bring snacks, stop at Taco Bell on the way.”
Another commenter, also a pescatarian, validates her feelings while encouraging preparation. “You already did that at the first party, with no complaints,” they say. “Extending the day with no plan to feed you was an AH move. He was in charge of the pizza and it would have been so easy to make you a cheese pizza.”
Getty
Stock photo of a woman upset at a table
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The original poster admits she struggled to advocate for herself in the moment. “I’m honestly not a very outgoing person, and I really didn’t know what to say,” she writes. “I know I need to work on that… I was just stuck in a super awkward situation.”
She’s clear that she doesn’t blame the family. “It’s not really their job to accommodate me,” she writes. “That said, as a host, I personally would never want to make someone feel like that.”
As she reflects on the uncomfortable night, she comes away with a takeaway for the future. “Lesson learned—I’ll definitely be more prepared next time,” she says. “Hopefully no one else ever has to be in that kind of uncomfortable situation because… it was not fun.”
Read the original article on People
