NEED TO KNOW
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A woman’s family wasn’t thrilled after she said no to a handmade outfit for a big event
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She explained why this particular moment wasn’t the time for a DIY project
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The backlash from her refusal sparked a much bigger family debate — and now her sister-in-law is accusing her of being superficial
A woman is turning to the Reddit community for advice after her decision not to let her niece sew her a dress for an important career event sparked family tension.
“I love my niece, and I support her creative expression,” she writes in her post, emphasizing that she’s more than happy to wear her niece’s handmade items in casual settings. She adds, “I’ve told her that she could make me a dress for running around the house, running errands, hanging out, etc.”
The aunt has even worn an acrylic scarf her niece crocheted for years, admitting, “It’s not because it looks good.” She appreciates the effort but is honest about the results, noting that her niece’s skills are still developing.
Her niece, inspired by YouTube and TikTok tutorials, lacks some experience. “She doesn’t know how to work off patterns, make tailoring adjustments, choose the right fabric, etc.,” the woman explains.
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Stock photo of a woman designing a dress
She describes how her niece prefers to make garments from thrifted sheets or old shorts, sometimes skipping important finishing touches. “But she doesn’t take the time to do things like pressing or finishing seams, trimming or sewing in ends, etc. When I’ve suggested it to her, she said it’s more authentic the way she does it,” the aunt shares.
When her niece begged to make her an outfit for an upcoming event in which she’d be on stage, the woman tried to let her down gently. “I … said that I had a dress being tailored as we speak,” she recalls, hoping to avoid hurting her niece’s feelings.
Her niece pushed back, insisting that wearing something handmade “would be special and a bonding experience for us,” the woman writes.
The aunt adds that her family is “obsessed with ‘bonding experiences,’ ” but admits she finds the constant pressure “exhausting,” she confides.
Standing her ground, she repeated her refusal. “I reiterated my no, saying ‘No, I do not want you to make me anything,’ ” she states, making her boundaries clear.
Her decision sparked criticism from her sister-in-law, who accused her of caring too much about her appearance and image.
She explained that the event is related to her career and she wanted to present herself professionally, especially as a “plus-sized” woman who feels her appearance is judged more harshly. “The last thing I need to do is walk up on stage in something that doesn’t fit, or looks like it was made with a sheet,” she says.
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The aunt notes that her sister-in-law’s complaints about her being superficial are not new. She recalls, “I dared to buy ONE designer bag for myself and she did the whole thing you see on Reels, the whole ‘STUPID! I would just thrift a bag and put the rest of my money IN the bag!’ bit.”
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Stock photo of a woman in a work setting
She also remembers being criticized for wanting to choose her own wedding décor, with her sister-in-law suggesting she was more interested in the wedding than the marriage.
For the woman, her career is her top priority right now. “Obviously for my SIL, her child is the most important thing in the world to her,” she says.
Now, she turns to Reddit to ask if she’s wrong for putting her career ahead of her niece’s feelings.
“Don’t give these people any information and they’ll have nothing to harangue you about. And when they do, just say uh huh or okay cheerily and walk away. Learn how to facilitate both of your new terms and make them your skill set,” offers one commenter.
Adds another, “I’ve been a professional seamstress. Those finishing steps are crucial. Niece does not snip her threads, does not press her seams flat, and probably does no altering after the garment is made, all of which are necessary to ensure a good fit and a clean look … Tell niece if she wants to try making a gown you’d gladly model it for her TikTok, but that you don’t want to put the weight of this event on your nieces shoulders. If she has never attempted a formal look before now is NOT the time for a first try.”
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