Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny are just a few of the lies parents tell their kids. They’re innocent, and sometimes a little white lie can save the day when a child refuses to eat anything but plain pasta or thinks that putting on a hat is the most offensive thing in the world. Parents can get really creative if it means that they have to defuse fewer tantrums, and the examples you’ll find below are perfect proof of that. Scroll down to find some of the funniest and biggest lies parents have told their kids, and don’t forget to upvote those you might be using next time your little one tries to test you.
#1
When new teeth grow in, I told her that they create new tastes. Now she tries to figure out which new foods she will like every time a new tooth comes in.
Image credits: Christopher Wilson
#2
She’s older now, and knows that it’s a lie, but I used to change the name of foods. She didn’t like tomato soup, but loved ketchup soup. She wouldn’t try lasagna, but spaghetti cake is her fave food lol
Image credits: ♒ chey 🧿
#3
Raised my kids to know that parents have to send Santa money for toys/presents. That’s why some kids get a lot and some don’t. At 17 and 13, they never brag about gifts until they know what everyone else recieved.
Image credits: RNH726
#4
When their tablets need updating I have to mail it directly to Amazon and we have no clue how long it will take days,weeks or months. In reality they are in my closet and I just want them outside catching toads and bugs. 🤣🤣🤣
Image credits: Holly Smith5901
#5
My mom told me that coffee stunted your growth. One day, working as a dental assistant at 20, my patient goes “what’s your fav coffee place around here” I respond with “oh I don’t drink coffee, my mom said it stunts your growth” right then my mom walks into the room (she was also an assistant and friends with the patient) so the patient looks at her and goes “do you wanna tell her or should I?” 😭😭😭
Image credits: Athena Molina 🖤
#6
Our sons didn’t eat cooked onions ( in casserole, etc l.). ” It’s not onion. It’s Japanese Clearfruit.” They cleaned their plates.
#7
That if we saw the moon – it would follow us home to make sure we made it safely. My daughter believed this until like middle school and still talks about it
#8
My step son is an extremely picky eater but very much a foodie. He loves watching cooking shows and Gordon Ramsay. So now every time I try a new recipe, I tell him it’s Gordon Ramsay recipe (even if it’s not)😂😂 falls for it every time! Now he will eat just about anything😂
#9
We told our daughter she couldn’t go to Disney World unless she learned how to go potty in the toilet. We told her Mickey doesn’t allow diapers.
Image credits: Jhigham99
#10
For every bite of vegetables at dinner, they could stay up 5 minutes later. But, they didn’t know how to tell time.
#11
My mom used to tell me that the AC in the car only worked when I was quiet.🙃
#12
We live on a lake and all our granddaughters know the lake doesn’t open until 9am. LOL
#13
I told my daughter that whenever a kid lies to their parents they eyes glow… now if she’s lying she squints at me!
#14
Told my daughter I could open the car trunk with my eyes. As we would walk to the car I would squint while pushing the button in my pocket 😂
#15
I told my kiddos to brush good the tooth fairy is like a jeweler the whiter the tooth the more $ it’s worth…
Image credits: user2769032051290
#16
I have a gold tooth because I was a pirate before I was a firefighter. Gold teeth is how we tell each other apart offer retiring from piracy.
#17
Cows know when rain is coming. so when you see them all laying down in a field it means it’s about to rain and they want to keep their spot dry (source: my dad)
#18
All the candy at the front at checkouts is expired. That’s why it’s up front
Image credits: Ourfarmlooplife
#19
You don’t just go to Chuck E. Cheese. You have to be invited 🥴😂
#20
Some of these are straight savage 😂Once forgot to play the tooth fairy, told the kids that the tooth fairy had to wait until the bank opened to get cash out.
#21
They think the car doesn’t start unless their seatbelt is fastened. Facts.
#22
My mom told me McDonalds was a farm!
Image credits: Kyla Carter
#23
When my son was little I told him he couldn’t wake me up until the “9s” on the clock, but I set his clock back an hour so it was actually 10. 🫣
#24
My younger brother thought that North Carolina was the windshield capitol of the world until he was in college because one time we were driving through the state during a really bad storm and he was a super nervous kid so my dad had to reassure him that we were safe because we were in the windshield capitol of the world.
#25
When the ice cream truck plays music, it means they’re empty.
Image credits: laurawilliams3606
#26
We’re in a semi-rural areas so there are multiple wild rabbits around the house. I told my son they’re all easter bunny spies who report back daily, all year.
#27
The word “Vegetarian” comes from an old Indian word, meaning “Bad Hunter” 💯
#28
I’ve got so many but my fave is telling them that Santa’s elves went on a union strike due to unfair wages and hours so Santa has to ask parents to help wrap gifts
#29
Dead animals on the side of the road/shoulder were “taking naps.”
Image credits: jwilfahrt
#30
I told my kids they didn’t like soda, and every time they wanted to try it, I gave them club soda. They are now teens and both hate soda 🙂
#31
Before my kids could read they thought every fortune cookie at Chinese restaurants said, “listen to your mommy and daddy” One day when my daughter was about 10 she asked how come they never say that anymore 🤣
#32
When my oldest has terrible growing pains in her knees we put lotion on them telling her it was easing the pain. She bought it and went back to sleep. #placebo
#33
I told my daughter when she lies only I can see a red dot on her forehead. If she tells me something I think is a lie I’ll look from her eyes to her forehead and she says the dot is there isn’t it. She’s 9 😂😂
#34
I told them I was allowed to sing in the car because I was one of the founding members of KidzBop 😂😂😂
#35
My daughter decided to clean her fishy tank and refilled the water boiling hot and cooked the poor fish. We told her he had a heart attack from old age I think she bought it. 🤣 RIP Potato chip
#36
You can only have so much stuff. if you get a new stuffy, you have to donate an old one or there will be a kid who doesn’t have one at all. usually ends up choosing not to try and convince me to buy another stuffed animal
#37
Salmon is pink chicken
#38
I told my kid she’d been vaccinated against mesothelioma when she was freaking out about it.
#39
When my son was small he always wanted to go to Walmart. I changed my cousins name in my phone to Walmart and told him to say we’re closed today. 😂😂
#40
McDonald’s is closed. The cars you see in the parking lot are all broken down and abandoned.
#41
Every single car accident we passed was bc the kids were fighting in the back seat
Image credits: Sarahtommie
#42
If I replay a song more than twice, Spotify will kick me out 😂
#43
Gremlins live in the trees around our house and they get their strength from bad manners. If they get strong enough they come into your room and eat your favorite toys. Saying please, thank you, and being polite hurts their ears and keeps them away.
#44
I tell them I’m 27
#45
Told my kid I was the original green power ranger. Google home told him it was Tommy Oliver. Cover blown.
#46
My son thinks his name is Wilson. it’s just Will. he’s 13
#47
Any time they want something from the store I say “ok just put it on the list”. The list doesn’t exist
#48
Before I could read my mom would tell me every sign in a store said “all children must have their hands behind their backs”
#49
Blippi is on vacation (can’t watch it today!) and before a Disney cruise we said we needed to call in to report if our child ate their vegetables that day because he couldn’t go if he didn’t properly eat every night and we would do a fake call
#50
My son used my credit card to buy stuff on Fortnite when he was 9. Called a cop friend to come scare the shit out of him. My son is 16–he still thinks we called the cops on him and they just happened to send our friend.
