“Happy 18th birthday, kid! Now, sign these forms.”
A birthday party might not be the right moment to broach the issue. But some time after your child turns 18, experts say, you should present them with a stack of legal and financial documents to sign.
They’re still your kids. But when they turn 18, they are also adults. And that means you no longer have access to large portions of their life, at least not without their consent.
Your child may be heading off to college this fall. That life change raises a whole new set of potential legal barriers between you and your kid, who is now a legal adult, or soon will be.
It’s quite possible your adult child won’t want to sign any of their newfound freedoms over to you. Even so, experts say, you should make an effort. Print out the forms, sit down with them and try to talk them into signing. You’ll thank yourself later. Maybe they will, too.
Here, then, are five documents to have around when your child turns 18.
FERPA authorization
The Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act governs access to your child’s educational records. When they turn 18, you are no longer privy to most of them without your child’s consent.
FERPA has halted many parents from accessing basic information from the institution that is cashing their tuition checks, experts say.
“Even if you’re paying 100% of the educational expenses for your child, you legally have no right to look at their transcript, even to look at their tuition bills,” said Leila Francis, national head of fiduciary advisory services at BMO Wealth Management.
A signed FERPA form allows parents to access all the educational documents at the school’s disposal, including tuition bills and transcripts.
Without it, you may wind up begging your adult child to go online and deal with forms, fines and financial aid appeals, tasks that would be challenging enough for a parent.
“It allows parents to still have access to financial data, grades, schedules, things like that. Important stuff,” said Ben Rizzuto, wealth strategist at Janus Henderson Investors.
“Because, if we’re honest, I’m still footing a large part of the bill here,” he said. “I have some skin in the game. So, it’s important that I and other parents know what’s going on.”
HIPAA authorization
The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act bars healthcare providers from sharing most medical records with unauthorized people. After your kid’s 18th birthday, that means you.
“It’s counterintuitive, but a parent, once a child turns 18, isn’t automatically entitled to receive healthcare information about a child,” said Bob Petix, a senior wealth strategist at Wells Fargo Bank.
A HIPAA release allows parents to access basic information about adult children if they are hospitalized. It might be difficult to contemplate, but many students are admitted to hospitals or mental health facilities at some point in their college careers.
“Serious things can happen,” Francis said. “The parent has absolutely no right to information.”
Advance healthcare directive
This document “does two things,” Wells Fargo explains in a primer on legal documents for adult children. “It appoints an agent who can make medical decisions on behalf of your child when they are unable to do so and gives directions for the care they want to receive in different situations.”
An advance healthcare directive wouldn’t take effect unless your adult child were incapable of making decisions on their own. That’s an unlikely scenario, but not impossible.
“Parents don’t want to think about their child incapacitated or dying, but these things unfortunately happen,” Rizzuto said.
Power of attorney forms
Power of attorney allows you to make decisions and access records on your adult child’s behalf. Financial power of attorney covers financial records and decisions, while medical power of attorney grants access to medical records and decisions.
(A HIPAA release gives you access to medical records, but it does not empower you to make medical decisions for an adult child.)
Financial power of attorney matters more if your child has assets.
“They could own a bank account,” Petix said. “They could own investment accounts. The ability to name someone to act on your behalf in respect to your finances is not insignificant.”
A simple will
Probate experts say every adult should have a will.
An 18-year-old may not need a will, but the document becomes important once they have assets that would pass to someone else upon their death.
“Does an 18-year-old need a will? Not unless they have significant assets,” Francis said. “But as they move out, they’re going to start building assets.”
When someone dies without a will, the local courts take over. And probate laws differ from one state to the next.
“If you don’t have a will and you die, any assets you own in your name will pass under the state law,” Petix said. “And sometimes that’s not consistent with your wishes.”
How to get your kid to sign the forms
Now comes the hard part: How to persuade your 18-year-old child to sign forms that give you power over their life.
Kids rejoice at officially entering adulthood and gaining a measure of freedom from their parents. Persuading them to give some of it back is a big ask. How do you start the conversation?
One approach is to tell your newly grown-up child that these documents are a rite of passage to adulthood.
Rizzuto says parents could say, “This is something that adults do. We are not trying to be helicopter parents. We are just trying to make sure that you are set up to succeed in adulthood.”
Francis sat down with her daughter at the dining room table with a stack of forms on her 18th birthday, beneath “a big ‘18’ balloon. We made it a big signing ceremony,” she said.
“This isn’t about control,” Francis told her. “It’s about helping you.”
Her daughter signed the forms.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 5 forms your child should sign before they leave for college
