In our modern capitalist society, everybody wants more money, even the people who have the most money. The old saying “Money can’t buy happiness” hasn’t aged well, either, as more research shows that money can and does buy happiness. One 2010 study published by Princeton University’s Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton found that day-to-day happiness rose as annual income increased up to $75,000 ($109,611 in 2025). Another study published in 2021 by the University of Pennsylvania’s Matthew Killingsworth found that happiness rose steadily with income way above $75,000.
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But just as money can create contentment and pleasure, it can create chaos and misery. In a recent video posted to her YouTube channel, financial expert Rachel Cruze discussed three ways money can “ruin your life.” What are they and how can you get your life back from money-induced agony?
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Getting Rich Can Warp Your Sense of Identity
In the U.S., we often equate success with wealth. And we don’t often think of ourselves as being successful until we’ve built our or are well on our way to building a hefty net worth. In this way, money — having it or not having it — influences our self-perception and identity. It can turn into a pretty toxic situation if we begin to associate our net worth with our self-worth.
“What’s so hard is to separate those two things — to say, ‘Who am I without all my stuff, without all the success, without all the money?’” Cruze said. “If you start to feel like, ‘Oh my gosh. If I’m not producing and I’m not creating value all the time, then I feel like I’m worthless.’”
Earning money is a part of who you are — as is having the ability to save, invest and possibly help support a family — but it is not all of who you are. Combat this pernicious intermingling of net worth and self-worth by doing the following, per Cruze’s recommendation.
See money as a tool that’s neither good nor bad and doesn’t reflect anything onto you.
Practice contentment daily. “Contentment will bring peace,” Cruze said. To practice contentment, write down things you’re grateful for each and every day and do mindfulness exercises.
Have an identity associated with things that can’t be taken away. Money can be taken away.
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Money Can Damage Your Relationships
We’ve all heard about how money is a leading cause of divorce, but we may not have paused to think about all the ways in which money can harm not only our romantic relationships, but just about every other kind of relationship. Cruze delved into a very specific possible side effect of wealth, where, once you get to a certain level, you start to cut yourself off from the real world and live in a kind of upper-class bubble. “You start to become out of touch,” Cruze said. “And in a sense, you can start to lack empathy and compassion for others.”
Getting wealthy, especially quickly, can be an alienating experience (you make more than your friends now, or you may have a lot more power and privilege than your spouse) and one that potentially brings out the worst in you. You can easily start to disconnect with the things or people that really matter. To prevent wealth from damaging your relationships, Cruze recommended the following.
Look for and act on opportunities to help other people.
Use your money to build a life you love that centers on the people you love.
Set your kids up for success and confidence by encouraging things that build dignity, like working and doing chores. Intentionally avoid raising spoiled kids.
Reliance on Wealth Can Hurt Your Spirituality
This is one that may not be relatable to all. Cruze is deeply religious (Christian) and talks often about the principles of Jesus and her family’s dedication to God. She believes that money can be detrimental to your relationship with God by “making it harder for you to see your need for Him,” she said, and argued that when you have the ability to pay your way out of crises (a good thing), you may not turn to a higher power much for help (a not good thing, in Cruze’s opinion).
“Make sure that your money doesn’t replace your view of God,” Cruze said. Combat the risk of losing your spirituality by believing that your higher power is the reason you have the ability to earn money and to ask for guidance with humility about the best ways to use your wealth to make a difference in the world.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: 3 Ways Money Could Be Ruining Your Life, According to Rachel Cruze
